know why my friend died

I can’t believe it’s been a year. It has gone by quickly, and so many things have happened. I guess life goes on. One thing I’ve learned this past year after this is that the best thing that helped me get through his death was life. My life. Living my life. That’s what he would have wanted.

I am still having a hard time. Don’t get me wrong, I am still living my life; that is what he would have wanted. But, there are still times that I just can’t wrap my mind around it. I mean, he’s gone. It’s hard to say the words.

But, there are also times that I feel a very calming sense of peace about it. I think about the last time I saw him; just the day before the accident. I remember telling him how good he looked. He was coy and abashed. But, I reiterated to him that he looked really good. And I meant it. He looked so happy. We had a really good talk, even though it was short. I look back on it now and I am just so grateful that I had that moment with him. It helps.

I just found out my good friend died last night. It’s times like these that I am glad for my spiritual beliefs. But, it is still so hard to understand.