decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life

actually, i am at a good position in a japanese stable company.

i think it is easy to stay here till the retire time, but the voice from my heart deep inside says that is not enough! there are many things that i can do..

yesterday, I spent night two days in my hometown with mom and my best friend.

We could talk lots of things each other. About the our future, the current situation, each will.. we discussed many many times from before. As a result of those talks, umm, to be honest I already have known I should take care of mom, to do that I should work harder and harder.

However, I think I feel fun about the situation, because I have an opportunity to acheve that. Than calm and stable life, I prefer this.

I went ocean side near my hometown, it was wonderful!

In Japan, this season is called “golden week(meaningless!)” that is a series of holiday. In my case, 10 days holiday from yesterday. I do not need that!

Maybe, I will do my task within the holidays.. I won’t live lazily, I will do my best!

My parents divorced few years ago. So, I have been taking care of my mother. But basically I just send money. Of course I know it is not enough. I shoukd take care her by myself. But situations do not allow to do it.

To be honest, I have feeling that I do not want to. Thinking about it, I think I am small.

about the present situation I think. Of course I can understand each of them saying. But first of all, I should seek what I can.

it is difficult to respond to it. To be honest, I do not want to hear such things. Of course, I can understand his situation that is harder than me. But I hope him become more confident as a boss that lead other member to the goal..

I think to support him is one my task I should do. I will do that!

I feel difficulty when I face the task I should achieve. Maybe burden is enormous. But without achieving this, I know my life is meaningless!

I think I could make my eyesight broader than before. But I know it is not enough. I want to see more of things and learn them, then I want to create something that makes people be happy more and more.

It will be harder than ever. I know it is difficult and challenging. I should face to myself. Can I achieve this? No, I should. If I run away from this, I think I can not prove the meaning I exist on this world.

in the future, the rest of my life. Untill now, I have achieved nothing special.

As to my job, I think I am rather successful. But I am not satisfied at all. I do believe more of things than before.

At to my love, I hurt ones I loved. I am sinful. So, I should be kind to someone I will love next.