stay focused

are the key to my sanity.

Haven’t been here in awhile. I’m here to say good-bye to my 91 year old Grandma. She’s been diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m so glad to be here…yet at the same time, so sad. What do I say to her tomorrow? My dad is with me. How hard this has to be for him! Who can stand this? I want to be thankful. I want to make the most of this chance to tell her that I love her and I’m so thankful that the son she had made that has been such a wonderful father to me. It’s funny, I’ve had some problems with my parents here as of lately. None of that seems to matter now. All I want to do is to be here for him now. It doesn’t matter that he might not like the way I am or how I believe. All that I can think about is being here for him now. Thank God he won’t be flying home, with all this on his plate, alone. Thank God I’m here for him. It very well could have been the other way.

AND I’ve gotten so much done! Two more days of this and we will ready to get our inventory loaded to our website and go online!

I can stay focused on the fact that I love living out here. I can stay focused on the things I have some control over and let God handle the rest today.

Me? I need to stop focusing on the fact that I will never be the person my folks want me to be and START focusing on being the person I WANT ME TO BE. Remember that I like, even love, myself now. That right there will cut my depression out of the picture. Focus on the things (and there are many) that are wonderful in my life. Stop staying up so late and sleeping in so late. Get back on schedule with my goals.

So many big and little things going on and wrong at the same times tends to fracture me. Through love, gentleness and lots of prayer and meditation I am pulling it back together. Here’s a toast to the power of free will!

and living in the moment is really starting to pay off. I see accomplishments, big and small, everyday. It’s very encouraging.

Maybe it’s because of the huge relief I feel over Dad being home and okay. Can you believe he went to work today?
That’s why I’m here at the computer taking a look at the list of things I’m working on.

Putting things down. Seeing them accomplished. Getting good input form total strangers. Thanks!