I must be so ugly. I must be an ugly person. I am a true believer in what’s yours is yours. You cannot have anything that’s not for you. The problem is when i want things that are not for me. I want them so bad that i immerse my entire being into making it happen. All the other person has to do is just day yes. But i don’t get that yes.
I try to control.
But i have no control.
I want people to just be, that’s my motto.I ‘m just me. I am me and i try really hard to not allow others to affect who i am. I care, when i care i give even more. But i still get no. NO!
WHat do i give off that makes people repulsed by my being? Am i just a temporary fix. I get boring after a while? What am i doing wrong. I don’t believe, i do not accept the logic given by others.
Life is a risk. Love is a risk. Life is a risk. What makes a person decide what risk should or should not be taken. Humans take risks when they feel like there is a pay off that is worth while, I take that risk with everyone, so i guess no one should feel special.
But i am never worth the risk. I can never create that spark. I throw gas all over myself and light a box of mathes, but in the end, the flame that’s created is made completely of me, by me.
I will never be loved…..
