manage stress more effectively

soooooo
in an attempt to manage stress without drinking, i finished my project early and ran.
ran. ran. ran.
and when i got home i took a shower and i was ready to pass out with anxiety.
soooooo
i had 1 drink before the presentation.
and the presentation wasnt even… it was more like a science fair project exhibit. but stressful nonetheless.
the drink helped.
boo.

okay now that i’m doing the things i normally do, i’m feeling not so out of control.
well with one exception.
i have a presentation tuesday and im nervous. the only thing that makes me feel better is thinking that im going to drink beforehand.
i know, i know, i probably shouldnt but i’m starting to get more and more terrified. its down to brass tacks: i have no more anti-anxiety drugs and i sure as hell dont have time/money to go see my shrink, get a prescription and get it filled before im in the limelight. and basically one drink will do the same thing that a pill would do for me; its just considered socially unacceptable to go that route. i’m not talking shit-faced. i’m talking one drink.
at 2 in the afternoon.
pathetic.
ugh. i dont know what i’ll do.

does anyone else have this problem?

so i typically run (3 miles) 5 days a week. i haven’t been out in 8 days. what the hell was i expecting? i know im busy, but jfc i can make time for some mood-enhancing endorphins!

my significant other said to me today “maybe you should stay somewhere else until you can learn to stop being so mean”
! ! ! ! !

its true, i was being a complete asshole this morning and its because im totally stressed out. i live with possibly the most patient and helpful person on earth, someone i adore, and yet i take out my frustrations on him. :(