overcome my re-surfaced anxiety

on this again, for now at least.

(took a ‘stress test’ on the excellent anxietycentre.com site.

Result:

300 and above

Very high level of stress. People with ongoing
levels of stress in this range have an 80% chance of developing
a serious illness in the next two years. There is also a
very high likelihood that this level of stress could develop
into an anxiety condition.

If you have scored in this range, it’s highly recommended
that you take immediate action to reduce your stress in
order to prevent the development of serious illness and/or
an anxiety condition.

is that the neurologist spent a full hour examining and testing me for various things and in the end she said no sign of anything organic, it’s all down to stress and anxiety.

which isn’t good but it’s also not terrible.

anyhow yay.

but not yet swamped.
i hate that today is Raphael’s 9th birthday and i’m finding it so hard to be happy with him, i’m having to fake it. i didn’t want to be back in this space.

just to check that the symptoms i’m having are anxiety and nothing else i’m going to a neurologist on Tuesday.

this sucks.

with therapy (and no drugs) was ale to get a grip and overcome what became a debilitating bout. i had numerous physical symptoms and was so convinced that i had some terrible disease that i spent a fortune on doctors, tests everything from brain scans to bone scans…

in the end i would not leave the house at all, and that’s when i knew i needed to get help, especially as it was affecting Raphael and i felt like my life was over.

in fact 43things was one of the things that helped me too, instead of looking up diseases i thought i had i started spending time here and my recovery was aided by the relationships and support i got here even though at the time i posted very little about what i was going through.

in the past few weeks i’ve had a flare-up of some of the symptoms i was experiencing and i am fairly sure it’s due to personal stressful situations but the old fears are starting to resurface.

i have an appointment with my old therapist scheduled for Tuesday night. If the symptoms continue i guess i’ll be back at the Nurologist again because i really freak myself out with this shit and i need to be told it’s nothing but anxiety so i can get on with my life.

i have much to look forward to, in the next few weeks, and i don’t want my own fears to ruin that for me.

anyhow, i thought i would post about this here this time around, perhaps there are other people who have similar experiences, i know there are a lot of people and it’s not something everyone likes to talk about.