get my own apartment

Me – Parents = Freedom
Me + Parents = Major Emotional,Mental and Health issues

Also
Parents = Me – Freedom
&
Parents =Major Emotional,Mental and Health issues – Me
(seriously,these issues are going to be he death of me)

Also
Me = Freedom
Me = Major Emotional,Mental and Health issues

So,
Major Emotional,Mental and Health issues = Freedom

Therefore,
I am very confused.

I haven’t been able to sleep for months as I haven’t been able to tell them(my parents) about this decision of mine..
I saw an ad of Motorola the other day – it had an average/normal family….the family has 3 members – father, mother and son.The father comes home tired to see the son listening to music and saying to someone(probably his gf) I’ll see you in 15 minutes babe.The son then goes to get ready and the dad pretends to act like a stupid teenage boy(exaggerated teenage behavior) till he notices the son and his wife staring at him with a huh! expression.

You know when i saw this ad i suddenly got very agitated ….i tried to pinpoint the reason why….at first i couldn’t get it,i was angry and sad but i didn’t know why…then i finally got it…...what was happening in the ad would never happen to me in real life – i would probably never have a)a dad coming home in the evening(mine is retired/unemployed) b)be allowed to leave home like that – without the where,why,hoe,etc c)actually be allowed to say “see you in 15 minutes babe” without an hour-long investigation.Also since i am almost 19 my teenage years went exactly like my childhood – with absolutely nothing in common with anyone my age, no money,no freedom and essentially a waste of my existence.

I had originally planned to move out when I turned 18.I had been saving money – birthday money,money from elders,etc. for a long time now – since i was a kid.I had naturally assumed i would get it.But my dad -the world’s beast procrastinator now tells me all the money is in PPF account that I will get at the grand old age of 22. WONDERFUL!!If he had told me that earlier instead of going to college for a year i WOULD HAVE SAVED UP MONEY INSTEAD.

(Whew!)

Not that my parents would let me leave college to save money and do what i want to do – get out of this house and be happy and healthy and secure for once my life.

Oh no!! that would be sacrilege!!!what would the neighbors think?what would the 700 relatives(none of whom i care 2 hoots for)think?What would our colleagues and friends?What would society think?What would people think?

Seriously 21st century India is like 1960’s America.People are changing but the society as a whole is still so rooted in tradition.I mean 20 years from now people are going to think I was nuts for even letting them run my life…

Seriously, this place is slowly resembling George Orwell’s 1984, Big Boss , the Big Brother house…..you get the feel of things….I am supposed to tell them where, what, why,how of virtually every place i go to,who i talk to,why i am talking to whom i am talking to, what i am doing at this time of the day…it is getting soooo frustrating !!!!!!!!!!!!

see this one is really tough for me.i live in India and my parents are quite conservative.My mom stayed with her parents till she got married.Getting out of your parents house before marriage is unheard of.Unless you get a job in another city,even then most women end up staying with relatives or in hostels or in some other living arrangement,made primarily by the parents.

I live with my parents,first year of college.My college is 20-30min from home.It makes no sense to move to a hostel/dorm/rented apartment/paying guest accommodation right now.On the other hand my dad was like, even if my mom gets posted in another city they will change my college instead of letting me stay here by myself.

The other major problem-marriage and money.No,I’m not married nor am i financially unstable.Actually,i’m not financially anything.All the money I got as a kid is in a savings which though legally is under my name my dad handles everything.In fact he still hasn’t turned it over to me.He keeps saying ‘not now’ when my sister asks why he still hasn’t handed over my money.I had originally planned that after i got the savings and started handling my money i would get a part time/night job to supplement my income,move into a hostel/paying guest accommodation and pretty much get my own life.
But that plan is pretty much Dunzo.

Next hurdle,marriage.No I am obviously not married,don’t have a boyfriend and am not allowed to date.So,moving on I will move into my future husband’s house after marriage.I am expected to stay with my parents till then.That is the basic issue.
i’ll probably follow up with an entry on marriage and a seperate bank a/c later.

wish me luck
IndiaMumbai