I’ve moved house and had some major break-throughs in psychotherapy, which make me feel like I have and will continue to make changes. Most important of these is not feeling like there are conditions I need to meet in order to be loved. I have identified the innate strengths and qualities that make me lovable. With this in place I can set boundaries around what I will put up with and how far I am willing to compromise. From my new position of living independently, I will be able to ensure these boundaries are recognised and observed. The future looks bright :)
imgladimme has written 10 entries about this goal
This is not going at all the way I planned…or even the way we agreed (with me compromising all the way). I have not had a night alone yet. I am back at the old house (hence the internet access) to have dinner, but I will insist on going “home” to sleep in my house by myself.
B is not letting go. He doesn’t have a car atm, so I’m required to shop for him and drive him around. He slept at my house the first night and reluctantly went home last night, but left the kids…oh well…I’m going with it, it’s a big change, it will come.
Off to spend my first night in MY new house (ok, all the family are coming with me, but tomorrow night I will be alone there!). I’m not sure if I’m more excited or scared…
but I can’t get moving on getting moving! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s like I’m having second thoughts…I pick up the keys tomorrow. Once I can start to take things over, I think I will get rolling, but right now I go to pack a box and I can’t decide what to pack. Everywhere I go to start I have a reason not to…I know moving is horrible and maybe that’s all it is…
Picked up a single bed for $10 and book case for free! Only 2 singles and a qs bed, fridge, washing machine, dining set and lounge to go!!! Moving day is 5 days away…
this is actually going to happen. I move on the 3rd. eeek!
and I still haven’t heard whether I got the house I applied for :( I was sure it would be today. Boo.
A friend of mine posted this article today on fb. It lists precisely the things I am trying to avoid with the changes I am making. Worth a read!
Just have to wait a few days to hear from the agent… I have decided to do this on a trial basis. I have asked for a 6 month lease, we will go to relationship counselling and individual therapy, have family dinner/outing once a week and agree not to see other people during this period (as if I would want to!). In that time I hope to be clearer about what I want and what each of us is willing to contribute and compromise if we are to continue the relationship. B was very upset, but quite reasonable. So, I get to stay for Christmas without animosity (which was my big fear) and I don’t have to risk missing out on the house because I don’t want to move before then. Let’s see….
for 13 years. I was with someone else for 3 years when we met, so for the last 16 years straight I have not been single. This relationship has never been a happy one for me. He’s a bully – not physically, but I let him make all the decisions and get his way for a long time. I’m finally sick enough of it to do something about it. My unhappiness outweighs the fear of his reaction. We have 3 young children – I’m worried for them, but I can’t go on half-living this life. I’m going to look at a house and apply for single parenting payment on Monday. I’m doing it all in secret, but he’s already asking what’s going on…It doesn’t seem real and when I make myself understand what’s ahead of me, I’m TERRIFIED.
imgladimme has gotten 9 cheers on this goal.
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