stop obsessing

I am getting a little better at not obsessing. I can’t block things out yet but I am learning not to let them control me so much.

I’m doing it again. I sent him an email and he did not read it. It is still sitting in his inbox and he has been there and checked his mail, ignoring mine for whatever reason.

I’m getting a bad feeling.

Today I am feeling good about things. I got an email from him when I first woke up and that made me feel great. I replied to it and I see I have another email that just came in. I am not going to read it yet because I have way too much work to get done and I don’t want to play email tag all day. Well, that’s a lie…I do…but I am not going to.

Okay, so I got home from work and he showed up a few minutes later. Not for any particular reason, just because he was “in the neighbourhood”. How awesome for me. He sayed for an hour or so and we just sat and talked. We have plans for Saturday night and for whatever insane reason I keep think he is going to cancel on me. Why am I this nuts? I never used to be like this.

Okay I just checked my email and there is one there from him. That made me smile but now it’s time to get to work. I’m not reading it yet because then I will respond to it and be waiting for another. This way is better. Back to work and stop thinking so much.

I met a new guy several weeks ago. He is fantastic in so many ways but I am thinking about him way too much. He is a constant distraction and I am forever trying to figure out what he is thinking about me. I constantly assume he is lying and I constantly assume that he isn’t into me as much as I am into him. I have never felt this insecure in all of my life and I know that it is going to ruin any chance I have with this guy if I don’t get a handle on it. I have already sent him a couple of different emails that freaked him out a bit. It may already be too late. I check my email constantly at work and if I don’t get anything from him I start thinking of all the reasons why I havne’t. I almost think I should just get him out of my life now before I really screw up and make an a$$ of myself.