beat bulimia

it’s been going well, a hell of a lot better than it has been in the past year but still some blips every now and then…i figured tho, if i just deny myself the title of bulimia then maybe i wont feel inclined to succumb to it.in a way, if i say ‘i’m not bulimic’ then i won’t choose that option.this rational to anyone?

its going!well, if it can go.i’m being busy and optimistic about things and i know exactly the place/time/reasons it occurs so i warn myself of ‘danger’ times and consciously avoid them or think of loads of other things i could do/ reasons to be happy. i do fall, i will no doubt fall again (this isn’t being weak its reassuring myself its ok if i do) but as long as i keep working at it these times may become few and far between, perhaps even to non existence.yay there is light :D

its attitude and persistence.i know my weaknesses or triggers (as in times of the day, mood i’m in etc- its really not about food)i’m a perfectionist at heart so if i can stop expecting myself to eat well all the time this wouldn’t happen.i feel a lot stronger though.just not sure if this is something i’ll have to manage forever, or something which will go away.

arrghh.this is hard. dammit life is a choice. i have a great great life.need to focus on positive and stop using this irritating little scab of a habit to compensate when i’m down.urgghh.arghhh.feel better now. >:( get a grip.

old habits die hard. i don’t want this as part of my life and i have so many lucky opportunities that i don’t need to be killing myself so that i miss them. i know i can beat this, just got to accept it may be one step at a time.