overcome bulimia

i hate that i can’t sleep without purging. i remember that feeling, standing up in the shower afterwards, head pounding, dizzy. I don’t know why, but i felt so much more alive, so much less empty and i would let this wild grin spread across my face. So yeah, it was good for awhile, maybe a little better than starving. Then it was different. It was just disgusting and my throat was raw. And there wasn’t anymore relief. It doesn’t make me feel better anymore. So here’s to three vomitless days.

I have been purging daily over the weekend. Everytime i end up crouched in the shower vomiting, i swear it’s the last time. I’m not purging for one month. I feel like it’s too hard to go cold turkey. I’ve gone two days eating normally, no purging. I already feel better. If i can accomplish this goal, i would be so incredibly proud of myself. i can’t think of anything i want more.