not get hurt by love

i hope i havent made the wrong decision.
ill be by myself for a while right….but maybe thats for the best.
im not one of these people who foolishly believes absence makes the heart grow fonder.
absence brings pain…loneliness and misery….and they dont have to even be gone for you to feel it….if you know its coming.

ive already drenched too many tissues over this.
do i end it through fear of our love going bad…..even though i am so so deeply enthralled?

i dont know when ill see him next….im not a fan of texting…he wont have a home phone….and it doesnt feel right talking to him on msn.
can i rely on emails?
can you have a relationship with someone throgh emails?
if someone else asked me the same question i know i would say no…..so why am i letting myself be knowingly fooled.

i really dont need this right now…ive got enough shit going on in my life….and very very few people understand…..not even he does.
im fed up of being someone im not….being the happy bubbily person who waves, jumps around too much and makes weird comments…....why do i always have to be her?

i never ever believed i could feel what i have felt when i have been with him…im soo happy we’ve been together and had what we’ve had…..im just in soo much pain right now.
SO much.

xx

so my current view is YESSSS….
fall in love, be swept away, feel the dreamy, euphoric sensation of such a seemingly parfait partnership…..
and then…..remember it with joyous delight….and oh-so-slight broken-hearted-ness.

*rolls eyes*
hmmm…ok….so it all sounds just THAT little bit too perfect ehh….but wheres the harm in dreaming….[well…everywhere]

:| :|
ill get back to you.
i dont like being wrong….so i truely hope im not.
:]]]]] xx

the more someone means to you, the more chance there is for them to dissapoint you and hurt you…

...yet the intensity of the emotion you feel towards them can only be great and live-changingly-amazing, and apreciated as being such, when its too late and you’re in pain.

so do you take a chance and let yourself fall in love.?
even if you KNOW it will end in pain?

why do i sound so emo??!!!
:S
xx