stop self-injuring

So finally i have made it a year w/o husting myself!! I am very proud.

Okay now about this time last year imade an account on this site and was reading all these stories about people who have done it for so long…and i wanted to be like them but nvr thought that i could be. But now i am. It is no longer a way of life for me and i have to power back. If there is anyone here who would like tot alk send me a msg on here. I’ll try to help as mucha s i can. I know there is only so much i can do but i’ll try. Hang in there everyone…..i know how hard it is … but you can do it…..... u really can… :)

Now that school is out i am a little worried. Now that i have more time on my hands… and nothing to look faward to when i am feeling bad.

But i think i will do okay… lately i have been very strong, and i am actually suprising myslef. I guess this is a sigtn of healing, and mving on.

When things get bad i still feel like i could … but i always find an excuse not ot. I am so proud of myself.

Everyone her ei wish you the best of luck… you can do it. I never though i could, and now i almost have. it is a great feeling, and i hope all fo you can feel it to.!!!

I am over 200 now. I am not sure what day it is really. I gues that is good. i j8ust know that every morning when i wake up i have not cut the night before. I still want to a lot, and it is a little depressing when i know i am over 200days but it doesn’t feel that far away yet. It should feel like alifetime away, but it doesn’t. Thre is nothing i can do about it right now… so i live my life day to day.

and on days when it gets bad.. and i am crying.. and feel like no one cares.. or whatever, i write in my book. I just filled one up totally. I am proud of it, becaue most of the pages are days that i worte instead of cut. Little thing like that carry me day, to day.. and i live.. STRONg

Everyone can do it… if they want to, i believe in ya’ll. I may not know you.. but i know that any person can do anything they want.. i am a liveing example.

Goodk luck everyone. P.S- i usually give good advice so if you want to talk leave a comment, and i’ll try to help any way i can.

I have been cut free for 200 this sunday. it is exciting, but…. there is always a but!!!

But i still do sometimes, want to cut. But then i look back on the 200 days, and i think i can’t do that to myslef. And if that doesn’t work, and i can’t do it for myself i think of being strong, for the one person who believes in me. My Gardian angel!!! I couldent let her down. she has done so much for me, and then i know that i can stay strong.

Still sometimes i wish i didn’t have that obligation, so i could cut. But i don’t want to be like that any more, and i have not been for 200 days. I just live day by day and thank god everynight for a good day. LIVESTRONG everyone!!!!!!

I really don’t know the exact day with out looking at my calender. I guess that is a good thing. All i know is that i am living strong, and i am doing well.

It is getting a little easier, but i still have my days. Just not as often so it is easier to deal with them when they come. Sense they are not al day every day.

I really can’t believe it but, i still get the impulses to cut a lot. I wish there was some way to make them go away,but sadly i m pretty sure there is not. There are day , and there are many when i am just like god i wish i could cut or something. Then i think of all the days i have gone without it and i would feel so ashamed if i broke my 103 days or soemthing.

But in some way it feels like jsut getting the impulses is breaking the day. It feel s so real in my head, and sometimes it jsut wont shut up. Grr i ate it.

None the less i am still living strong and have made it this far, and don’t plan on turning back, but i don’t like the word never it scares me.

i am at day 65!Abby like u i don’t think i will ever be able to say i have quit for good, just stoped for a while. I don’t want to do it again, and i am pretty sure i wont, but it has olny been 65 days you never know, but i am working on it. I have not been felling too good this week, i am applying to a boarding school, and it is a very stressful process,. my mom has been making me feel really bad lately. i know sahe doesn’t mean to she is stressed too, and works long hours to make sure i have everything i need, but still sometimes i wish she woulsd just leave me a lone, i am 14 not 34, u no. i like haveing a lot of responseability, and knowing that ppl can look to me when they need help but i can olny do so much. I don’t know i guess i will just have to suck it up and deal with it. Like i always do. ttyl ya’ll

It has been 42 days!! Everything i do is getting a little easier, and i owe it all to my friend. She has helped me so much, and i am soooooo lucky to have her. She is someone who is without a doubt going to heaven. After al she is already an angel.

I haope everyone has a great Christmas. I will try, i have a pretty big family, and our tridition, is fight with your family members. Sad but true. 10 adults, 22 kids. Fuhn fun fun!!

I have been throught a lot. My brother has sexualy abused me, and my parents are devorced. Try not to cut as long as i can, i went a whole 15 days last time, but now i am back to day 7.

I made a deal with my school councelor, that i would try not to cut. That i would do something else, like sit ups or snaping a bracelet on my arm. After day 15 when i cut again i talked to her days later. I am lucky to have her but there is olny so much she can do. I can’t find to much comfort in her because she is my councelor, not my mom.

For the first time in a long time when i cut(after day 15) i felt bad, the pain i was tring to get rid of was gone for a split second. But then after noticing what i had done i realized that i had let down the one person who believes in me, the perosn who always has faith in me even when i don’t have faith in myslef. Millions of thoughts started going through my head. She is going to be so disapointed in me. I let her down she is not going to want to help me anymore. I shuold have never done that it was stupid. Maybe i am not ment to be anything special, maybe this is my fait. And the pain i got rid of by cutting had come back.

It was very wiered but i learned that it was a way i was getting better, i think!! But still in a way i wish i had never told anyone, never gave my blade to my councelor. It is so hard to handle sometimes, and i just want to cut myslef to get rid of the stress. and the pain, and thoughts of what is going to happen next. Cutting for me is a security thing. I have no one i can lean one 24-7 and i want that but i no i will never have it. So when i feel badly or things start going haywire as they often do cutting lets me get away from all that, just for a split second, and a second is better than all pain all the time.