write down my thoughts when I can't sleep

Can’t sleep!usually I can’t sleep because I have thoughts about all the things I have to do for school. This time it’s because of my family. I love my family a lot and I know that they will do anything for me but I’m just so frustrated with them. I’m 23 and I still live with them. They are both retired so they are home all the damn time. I have no privacy or alone time whatsoever. I feel like they are always pessimistic about me. I’m always hearing something about me like I don’t know anything. I’m petite and skinny so they think that I cannot be out alone. I’m 9 years younger than my sister. They treat us very differently. I just feel like I’m always going to be too young for everything but the truth is I will never be my sisters age so they need to get over it and just let me grow and make my own decisions. I’m almost done with my masters and my sister is barely starting. I feel like she is jealous because she makes comments by saying that I live a boring life cuz I don’t have one. That’s because I’m too busy working and taking 3 courses. That’s my priority. Plus she can’t find a job that lasts more than a 3 month contract. I can’t help that. It’s not my fault she’s in that situation. Plus since I work in a school, I’m on break. So instead if being happy for me knowing how hard I’ve been working, she says shouldnt u be cleaning your room. It’s like really? I know my room is a mess ur don’t tell me how to use my break. I’ve been hanging out with friends that I haven’t seen in almost a year. Wasn’t she just complaining that I have no life. I can’t help that she chose to work in the business world where u don’t get breaks. I don’t understand what her or my parents want from me. No one can ever just have confidence in me.

It is 1:15am and I can’t sleep. I have a million thoughts running through my head. I’ve been thinking about money like for a trip, paying off my loan, finding a full-time teaching position for next school year, wondering what classes are going to be offered next semester, where will I travel next summer, how I will spend my christmas vacation since this is the first time I decided to take time for myself and not work. Was thinking about cleaning my room, organizing, spending time with friends, transferring photos and videos, and learning how to cook during christmas break. Wondering how I am going to decorate the bulletin board at work once Halloween is over. Wondering how some people I know just don’t understand that they just can’t spend money they don’t have. They don’t see that they have a problem. There, I’ve said my thoughts. Now maybe I can catch some Z’s before I have to get up in a couple of hours.