master cleanse

this is, by far, the hardest cleanse I’ve ever done… I am really needing my Ashblair at this time… she’s always been my rock when i want to slip, and it’s really tough w/o her, or any other ongoing cleansers out there…
Charles, Great way to start… hopefully maybe we can be each others buddies thru this… god knows, i need one!!!! ARRGGGHHH!! GIVE ME SOME PEPPERONI PIZZA!!! or even some Goldfish would be pretty damn good right about now! sigh….

Day 1 of my 4th cleanse… Last time I made it to 18 days, this time I’m only going for 10.
Just finished my SWF a few hrs ago and am enjoying my 1st glass of lemonade. I really hope more people come in to join me on this journey, it makes it so much easier when there’s others to be miserable with! lol…

So, i’m thinking it’s time to come back… Last time I made it to day 18 and screwed up and ate some soup… I tried to continue on, but just couldn’t get back into it. I stayed pretty healthy for the most part, but really got into a major funk in the last month. I feel like crap, so I’m really wanting to cleanse and get back to feeling good and being healthful. SO, now I just need to mentally prepare for the journey. I’m thinking in the next 2 to 3 days, I’ll be ready to start… Until then… :)

I am so depressed… I ate some soup, and then a couple pringles to top it off… and i feel just disgustingly depressed and let down. It all happened som fast… i was craving again, and I said to myself “just go weigh yourself… you’ll see something that will excite you on the scale” (ive said over and over, i’m not doing this as a diet, however, I am 30 lbs overweight, so its nice to loose the weight too!) Well, i got on the scale and it hasn’t moved at all!!! At 9 days, I had lost 7 lbs, i think… and since then, i have lost NOTHING… How do you fast for 18 days and only lose 7 lbs… well, i was pissed, and irritated, and I marched downstairs and made myself some veggie soup… i don’t know who i thought i was “getting back at” by eating… but i totally sabotaged myself and i feel so horrible…
Theres nothing to do but to brush it off and keep going. i’m not going to quit… i can’t. So, I told you all, I’ve admitted it, now I’ll move on, with my head held low.

WTF… I was rolling along so nicely and out of nowhere today I was hit with KILLER cravings… I dont know if its cravings or hunger, I JUST WANT FOOD!!!!! so bad, i could cry. I went to the gym, and on the way back I passed a TYSON foods truck and it had the most beautiful full sized picture of a grilled chicken breast, green beans, and corn on the cob… I am watching my neice for the weekend, and when my sister dropped her off, she also dropped off all of my favorite junk foods for us for the weekend…(she doesnt know i’m cleansing) She brought a box full of fresh bakery donuts, bagel bites (yum) pierogies, crispy french fries, and other good stuff… Oh my god, i really could cry. I have been thinking about food all day. I really don’t know what is going on or how this happend out of nowhere… I did get my period yesterday, maybe that could have something to do w/ it??? I don’t know :( I’m so sad…. please make this go away… And I’m wide awake, so i can’t even just go to sleep… This is the beginning of my long weekend, it should be a good day, a great day… and it just sucks… Say a little prayer for me, cleansers, i need them…

Only got a min. before i leave for work… going well, except I just got a “phantom taste” of canned beef ravioli in my mouth… HELLO! If I’m going to have these mystery phantom tastes pop up into my mouth, it could at least be something good like chicken quesadillas or somethin… geez! Anyway, took another 7 mile walk last night… lots of energy!!! Feeling gooooood.
Hope all is well, cleansers!

So, it’s day 15. If I didn’t have this website, I would totally lose track of the day… Today is shaping up to be a good day, no reason in particular, I’m just in a pretty good mood. I took a 7 mile walk last night and did some upper body resistance training and 100 bicycle crunches (which I just discovered and LOVE) I’m going to head out to the gym in a little bit before work and do some eliptical, biking and lower body strength training… I know i said i wasn’t going to do that anymore, after being ravenous afterwards last time… but i’m going to keep it light and see how it goes. If I have bad results afterwards again, then it will definitely be the last time for strength training during my cleanse.
Oh, a word about weight loss… After 14 days, I have only lost 10 lbs!!! That just seems so damn strange to me! I lost 10 lbs in the first 7 days of my cleanse, last go around. I wonder if it’s b/c I’m gaining muscle which weighs more than fat. Oh well… again, I’m not doing this for weight loss, but still I find it strange. At this rate, I’ll lose 15 lbs after 40 days! LOL Well, here’s to a great day of cleansing… Happy cleansing, peeps!

Yep, I decided to stick with the 40 day cleanse! I’m so happy that I have hydroelectricity to go to day 40 with. Yesterday was pretty good. I got a ton done around my house… good energy level yesterday. I took a brisk 7 mile walk last night. Had some weird food cravings of fatty cheesy foods last night, made me a little nervous for post cleanse… then this morning had some HOT eliminations, so i realized that those cravings were just from a heavy toxic load… that made me feel better. So, I am excited that today marks the end of 2 weeks, and am looking forward to week 3. I am going to try to make week 3 a little more spiritual, concentrating on my relationship with God and getting down to some real emotional issues I have.
So long week 2… On to week 3!

Day 12 is the longest day ever… I’m back to my 3rd shift schedule for the next 5 days, and i’m about to die from lack of sleep… I’ve been up since 7 this morning, it’s now 330am, and i wont be home to sleep until 7;00… so, i’ll be up for 24 hrs straight, and that’s after a super hard 30 min eliptical workout and a 90 min speed walk. YAWN… i need sleep, i can’t function, and i’m miserable. hmmm… not much to report. the more and more i think about this, the longer i think i’m gonna go… i can’t imagine stopping any time soon… weird. who would have thought??

Good day, all! SO, yesterday wasn’t so bad, with the dinner for my dad… except that I decided to go overboard and make bisquits w/ dinner too, and that was the hardest part. As a carb addict, buttering the bisquits for my kids was not fun. And I sat at the table while everyone ate, and I sipped my lemonade. It wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it would be. My dad said I was doing some HOOKY HIPPY thing w/ the cleanse, lol… He said “why am i not surprised?”
So, after he left, I took a nice long bubble bath and got in bed and watched tv for the first time all week. I feel asleep at 9:45 while my smooth move was steeping… so, i missed out on that last night, but got up early and did the swf and am on my way out. Going to musikfest which is a huge music festival with all sorts of fun stuff and good food… I don’t know why, but food smells are no longer really bothering me… I am really in a good spot on this cleanse right now. My hair and skin feels soft, I have lots of energy, and I AM HAPPY…. TRUELLY HAPPY. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, and I am feeling all of these amazing, loving feelings toward everything and everyone… it’s almost like I am drunk and i’m in that “i love you, man” stage… LOL…
anyway, life is good.