talk to strangers, all the time

it was mix it up day at the middle school i volunteer at, so every person was given a new seat at a lunch table – the point of which was to meet new people and create a more inclusive environment. i was walking into the cafeteria at the same time this girl was – she seemed like she was struggling socially. she had a pb&j and i had a pb&j, so i said hey let’s sit and eat lunch together. so we chatted and i learned about her family (she has two sisters and a brother, though one of her siblings died). she likes to watch scooby doo, and even knows the name of the episode that was my favorite growing up when i started describing it. she likes to play games on the computer. and a host of other things. she was a really nice girl, and i’ll be sure to say hello when i see her in the hall next.

day I was walking down the street (well, most days I walk down the street I say hello to neighbors and folks I chance upon)- but there was a lady- an elderly neighbor of mine. I know her, and she’s lived two houses down my whole life. She doesn’t remember me (she’s 86 and has difficulty remembering basic things). But I saw her checking my mail and I said hi, and we started chatting. We talked about her rhododendrons, and the ring she got when she was in high school (her sister got the same one- but her sister is no longer living)- and she was out gardening the other day and her ring fell off, and she can’t find it. It’s silver. I helped look for it. We talked about the grass and the trees and the wind and pruning hedges. I wasn’t able to help her find the ring, but that wasn’t the point. She has been very lonely- her husband died a few years back, and she lives alone (save for when her grand daughter comes to spend nights with her)- and she’s just lonely- got no one to talk to. She misses human companionship, and you could tell that people had been brushing her aside for a while- because as she put it, she’s a little loony (her mental faculties are going). She said more than once that she appreciated that I stopped and talked to her for a bit.

I know she won’t remember me next time I walk by
but I’m glad I could brighten her afternoon just a little.

Met a bunch of other wonderful strangers. Most of them couchsurfers, or through couchsurfers.

this seems to happen everywhere without my trying…

whether at the park, on the bus, checking out a book at the library, buying things at the organic health food store, volunteering at a church, walking down the road- i seem to run into people and start chatting. sometimes it is just a hello, but other times a small conversation, and sometimes a friendship even evolves….it’s pretty darn neat.

I love strangers. And talking to them.

(despite mom always telling me to be careful of them)

I’ve been sitting in the campus center for a few hours now, working on a flyer. I’m on the second floor, in a little alcove with couches, where it’s quieter and out of the way. And a lady sits down on the couch next to me and starts eating lunch. She’s middle aged. Red hair. She’s eating a salad. She seems interested in talking.

And starts up a conversation.

Apparently, she graduated from my college 9 years ago. She plays in the band here, and comes here for practice every Tuesday afternoon. She plays French horn and she likes it a lot. She wishes she played for longer in her life.

Her son makes web advertisements for a living.

Her best friends from college were psychology and social rehabilitation majors. The psych major lives in my hometown now, where she works with adolescents who have drug problems.

She majored in Theology.

I’m not usually here on Tuesdays (as I regularly have class), but I know I’ll say a hello next time I see her around.

and when I got there, there were 34 people ahead of me waiting to be served and the place was crowded.

When my number was finally called I went up (and the clerk was telling another lady to sit down and wait- because she had been on her cell and had missed her number). So the clerk was not in a good mood. She had had a long day, you could tell. And the people she dealt with, a lot of them-c’mon, it is the RMV-probably don’t treat her very well. So at first she was very snappy with me. Do this. Do that. You’re not doing that right. I was polite to her and by the time I had renewed my license, she smiled and told me to have a good day (which was a welcome change from her sarcastic remarks earlier). So yeah. Treat people with respect, y’hear? Smile, y’know? Yeah. Night!

I made a stranger smile the other day. Actually, two of them. And I suppose they were strangers turned acquaintances? There were two ladies who were selling things in the Campus Center a month or two ago, and I had stopped to say hello because I spotted the word vegan on a product. And I stayed with them for maybe 15 minutes chatting. This time I saw them again, and they were happy to see me. The first time they came I had pulled out my wallet (which is made from a soy milk carton) and one of the ladies had admired it, and I told her to make one. This time, I mentioned it again and she said her computer had broken (the directions are online). So I hopped over to the library, found the directions (which my friends had made), and printed them up for her so she could make one. =) She was ultra excited.

Tip for talking to older ladies? Sit in a public place knitting. It attracts them like a magnet, and who doesn’t love older ladies?

I walked past a UPS guy at my school the other day and he started chatting with me, about the weather (Strangers love the weather- I’m serious). The guard at Worcester State tells me stories about the weather whenever I go to her for a parking pass.

I was on T last night en route to a concert and there was a girl who sat next to me. Curly blond hair. Quick to smile. Outgoing, friendly girl. And we started chatting immediately. He room mate is from the next town over from me. She goes to college in Boston, and was going to visit her friend at Boston College. She was from Long Island. She’s studying Architecture. She likes it, but it’s harder than she expected.

She is obsessed with gum. She’s always chewing gum. She’s quite fond of chap stick too. She always swears by those Tide spot remover pens, and has two in her purse. She also loves metallic sharpies by RoseArt (despite not loving their crayons). She’s a fan of many things. Her purse is too cluttered, and she needs to clean it out, I told her. She had everything in there. And lots of receipts. She had some flowers for her friend at BC (aww, very sweet).

We talked about life. And all sorts of things.

It was a short conversation. Maybe 5 minutes? Then she got a phone call. But don’t worry, she told her friend to hold on a sec so she could say bye to me when my stop came up.

I never talk to people on the T. But my friend there, she was very nice. I’m glad I met her. I’ll probably never see her again. But if I do…. well, I’ll run up and say hi! Actually, maybe I will run into her again. She’s a freshman…. and if I move to the Boston area, we’ll be in the same part of the state. Hm. That’d be cool.

Moral of the story: Talking to strangers is cool. I like it. I was happy talking to her. =)

looking for a kite.

Found one. A Sponge Bob one!

And so I went up the counter to buy it… and, you know me, I started talking to the cashier… telling her why I was buying the kite [for our weekend excursion at the beach]. And she started telling me how she was going up to Hampton Beach for the weekend and that she’d definitely have to bring her kite.

I love connecting with strangers. even in the smallest ways.

It makes me oh-so-happy.

I was walking down the street yesterday

And my elderly neighbor, L, was walking across the street to get her mail.

Now, L’s husband had died a few years back, and her dog died last winter, and her sister sometime last year. She’s living all alone… And I’m thinking she must be dreadfully lonely. I know I would be in her place.

I’d never actually talked to her. But today she was standing there in her yard and I said hello. And we started talking. For ten minutes. She told me about how her car was taken away, and how she can’t get into town anymore, and about the weather, and her sister, and her friends, and the house, and. etc….

She’s 83 years old. And kicking strong. She just wanted someone to talk to.

I think I’ll bake her muffins.