Find peace.

A coworker and friend pulled me aside today to talk. She is a good friend, with an uncanny ability to see right into my soul. She says it is because we are both on the same path, just at different points on the road.

So she told me (and not for the first time) that she senses that I am notbeing true to my authentic self. She thinks that I am never completely grounded in who I am and what I want for myself, and I am constantly operating from a place that Is not genuine, and will in the end be harmful to me.

I agree, but I honestly don’t know what to do about it.

This gives me peace.

Maybe I don’t have much peace, but there are a few moments when the turmoil seems to be still.

When I am putting my son to bed, reading stories, staying with him until he falls asleep, if I allow myself to focus on that moment, those moments with him, the whole world falls away, and I just feel settled inside, as though I know what I’m doing.

This is what I want. This is what i keep trying to find in everything I do, but it evades me. I want to have peace.

This is something of a revelation, and I will need to do some research and deep thinking before I can figure out how to get closer to this goal.