learn to drink in moderation

Any time in the past when I go completely stone sober, it last to a point, then it seems like I go on a crazy binge. Once I had something that was like a 2-year binge.

But, when I just have a beer or two or three, when I want it, when it feels natural, I don’t have these feelings of holding back and missing out, and a need to overcompensate later doesn’t occur.

Success!

when I’m in my hometown or with family. And yet then I’m still much better at it than in my former life. I think I’ve accepted the fact that I can actually get drunk on occassion. And way better than that is to have a beer or two, only on occassion. I’m going to continue to monitor my progress on this one, but I’m not terribly far from marking it off my list.

for about 30 hours around some family that I love dearly. But by following the “when in Rome” policy I’m really outpacing myself. And I even ate beef yesterday for the first time in like a year, albeit in a small quantity.

I suppose it’s alright, I’m no devout anything. I really try to practice a life that has few absolutes or extremes. But every time I’m near people that I associate with my early life, it’s almost immediately that my practices change to those of my old life.

I’m incredibly frustrated by this, and even am often able to place blame or guilt on myself for it, which certainly doesn’t fit into my “accept myself” policy.

I’m going to soon be in Kentucky for the holidays, and am greatly excited and looking forward to seeing lifetime friends and family, but I have concern over my emotional state in the times ahead. I live a life void of regret, but in these instances often forget to sit back, observe, and experience some very real short-term regret.

So maybe this entry isn’t as much about drinking as it is about accepting myself, but whatever it is, here it’s being presented.

This is great. I’m in a bar/brewery in Northern Cali, having a fine local porter, and I’m writing about my moderation goal. I’ve been doing great. Yeah, since I’ve changed this goal, I’ve slipped and gotten drunk a couple of times, but mostly I just know how to enjoy a drink now and then. I did a few days work on a vineyard/winery, and each evening ended with way too much wine, but that’s a pretty singular experience. Salud!

Well, I changed this goal from “Quit Drinking Alcohol”, because I really embrace a personal policy of moderation in my life. It’s certainly not moderate to cease the use of something entirely. Plus, there are heart-disease related benefits of moderate alcohol use (a drink a day, or so). I won’t even be drinking that much. But I’ve found, through years of personal experience, that when I quit drinking entirely, I always end up going on months’ long drinking binges. I certainly don’t see me doing that any time in my near future.

I think it should go well. My frame of mind is entirely different than the last time I considered myself to have a drinking problem. The key is largely being cautious of whom I surround myself with.

well a couple nights ago i got in a funk and went to the store and bought a couple beers. the whole way there i thought to myself “this is stupid, you’ve screwed up like this before”. i got two pints of porter and drank them both. the next day i drank a six pack at the beach and got a 40oz on the way home. but then i had a good talk with a dear friend i hadn’t talked to in a long time, and she reminded me of why i quit drinking in the first place, so i’m back to sobriety. 3 months down the tube, but i’ll not give up. so this is sober day number 2.