One my students said something to me this afternoon that really caused me to think. I’ve been having problems with my knees for at least 2 years (I’m bad about putting off going to the doctor becvause I always feel too busy) so everybody is used to me walking slow, but they’ve been particularly bad for the past couple of days(bad enough I added going to the doctor as a goal on here). One of my students noticed that I was having problems moving around, and I told her why. She told me I should go to the doctor and I told her that I can’t because I have too much to do right now and I have conferences with my other two classes this week, lots of grading, etc. All true, by the way. She responded by telling me: “I’m glad that you are that committed to your students, but when you set your standards for yourself that high it puts extra pressure on all of us because we know that we can’t do that.”
I’ve never even suggested to my students that they have to live up to my personal standards, but thinking about it I can see why they feel that they do. This problem must be fixed ASAP. This also got me thinking about who else in my life feels this way. I know that because of my reputation of being published and doing work that a lot of people find challenging that lots of people have told me that they feel intimidated around me, in an academic setting. It’s nearly impossible for me to wrap my head around that idea anyway, but I’d always assumed that it was for other reasons. It’s one thing for me to pay the price for my demanding standards, but somebody else: unacceptable. Obviously, as part of achieving this goal, I need to learn how to take care of me as well as I take care of other people, but this has added a new wrinkle for me.
