Poetry Boy in Lexington is doing 40 things including…

Stop being so hard on myself

72 cheers

 

Poetry Boy has written 2 entries about this goal

Learning from my Student 2 years ago

One my students said something to me this afternoon that really caused me to think. I’ve been having problems with my knees for at least 2 years (I’m bad about putting off going to the doctor becvause I always feel too busy) so everybody is used to me walking slow, but they’ve been particularly bad for the past couple of days(bad enough I added going to the doctor as a goal on here). One of my students noticed that I was having problems moving around, and I told her why. She told me I should go to the doctor and I told her that I can’t because I have too much to do right now and I have conferences with my other two classes this week, lots of grading, etc. All true, by the way. She responded by telling me: “I’m glad that you are that committed to your students, but when you set your standards for yourself that high it puts extra pressure on all of us because we know that we can’t do that.”

I’ve never even suggested to my students that they have to live up to my personal standards, but thinking about it I can see why they feel that they do. This problem must be fixed ASAP. This also got me thinking about who else in my life feels this way. I know that because of my reputation of being published and doing work that a lot of people find challenging that lots of people have told me that they feel intimidated around me, in an academic setting. It’s nearly impossible for me to wrap my head around that idea anyway, but I’d always assumed that it was for other reasons. It’s one thing for me to pay the price for my demanding standards, but somebody else: unacceptable. Obviously, as part of achieving this goal, I need to learn how to take care of me as well as I take care of other people, but this has added a new wrinkle for me.



I Get a Break this Weekend!! 2 years ago

So, as my first step of working on this goal, I’ve been reducing the number of hours that I stay at the office working. Prior to working on this goal, I had been staying in my office from about until Midnight Sunday-Thursday, and between 9:00-10:00 on Friday and Saturday. I just have ridiculous standards for what I expect out myself both in terms of the ammount of work I do and in terms of the quality of my work. I also feel like every semester that I don’t finish my dissertation that I’m letting my family down. I can’t stand that. Well, a couple of my friends at work have been trying to get me to stop putting so much pressure on myself. So I’ve been reducing my workload quite a bit, even having a couple of days where I leave at close to normal people hours. I’m also trying to accept what I get done as me doing my best and letting it go, that is defintely the harder part. After all, I can’t exactly work on my shyness goals if I’m in my office or if I’m punsihing myself for what I didn’t get done.

But, this weekend I’ve decided to take a break from everything. I have a good friend who lives in Nashville who invited me to come down for the weekend and I’m going. I’m really excited about having an entire weekend where I don’t have any grading, research, or writing to do. I might even feel like a normal person when I get back.



Poetry Boy has gotten 72 cheers on this goal.

 

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