I’m applying to part-time grad programs in public policy and public administration here in DC. I’ve hemmed and hawed about grad school for some time, for several reasons. First, because I couldn’t decide what to study. My bachelor’s is in studio art. I would probably have a great time going to get my MFA in painting, but it would be horribly expensive and wouldn’t really lead to any kind of immediate career enhancement. I would still have to struggle up the long hill toward professional artist-hood, which I can do without the additional schooling and additional debt load. So, what to study? And do I really, really, need that master’s degree? As a friend pointed out to me recently, if my goal is just to make more money, I could probably be a programmer. Yeah, I could. But would I really enjoy it? I’ve got several friends who have been in soul-sucking programming jobs for years and want more than anything to find a way out of it. So, public policy – I work in public policy right now, and could definitely use some formal education in that area in order to advance. I enjoy it. And I figure I might even be able to get a job somewhere other than DC with an MPP degree. Maybe.
The other reason I’ve been putting off grad school is my fear of the sheer amount of work involved. I went to a tough school for undergrad – the type of place where you spend all your time in the library and/or studio trying to cram 10 volumes of information at a time into your brain, or come up with 100 brilliant and original ideas per week. I am terrified of school. Now I have a full-time job that I don’t feel like quitting. I get a nice tuition benefit, and I like my job. Will part-time school ruin my life? Will I ever see daylight again? What if I am just too lazy? What if I have a nervous breakdown?
These are the thoughts that are plaguing me at the moment. I’ll hear back from schools soon – I’m not even sure if they’ll want me. It’s awful – I feel like getting rejected from schools will be a relief. I’ll be off the hook. Sorry, folks! I just ain’t cut out for grad school! But no, I fear I’ll have to choose a program, sign away my evenings and weekends for the next however many years, and just try to keep sane.
Or maybe I’ll just move to some little town in the southwest and be a waitress at a truck stop. That could be all right.
