become better at small-talk

been moved to a new dept only for a few weeks in think. Anyway theres no radio in their office so ive im no talking then theres a totally awkward silence. Shit. At least with the radio on then theres still some noise there but without it its just quiet, too quiet.

been in my new job for like 3 weeks now and im still really quiet. They were even saying in my frist week that i’ll soon settle in, i just need to be more talkactive. I dont no why i can contribute to anything, its so fustrating. I just wish i could talk but i just cant. I cant even explain it its like whenever i want to say something or know i should say something at this point all that comes out of my mouth is “yeah” thats if anything at all.

went out with a mate for drinks and one of his mates was there that i’ve never met before. He said i didn’t sound too reserved and was just normal :D Although i did feel like i was a bit quiet at times was a quite pleased that i managed to keep the convo up with my mate went to the bar etc. It was easy to talk to this other guy though casue he’s really into his music so just spoke about whatever band was playing at that time. It was a good day overall.

so when i met my old school mate on the train i was kinda worrying that theres gonna be an awkward slience like what normally happens with me. But i am please to say i managed to keep it going. Onviously it helps when you kinda know the person but i think if you meet someone you havent seen for ages you either slip back into the way you were before like you seen them just yesterday or its awkward because so many things have changed you dont know what to say. I’m so glad i was the way i always was, even though i’ve never been chatty or anything it felt good to keep a convo going the entire time.

heading to the states pretty soon, but hopefully if i’m ever asked a question then i can answer it with the shortest response ever! I need to learn to talk. How stupid does that sound?

well the other day i got a lift home from a tennis match and there were only 2 of us in the car. ok so the journey was like only 10-15mins long but i feel like there wern’t any awkward sliences. YAY! i mean there were times the conversation died but then i, yes me, was the one who managed to get it going again. :D

I know its quite sad getting exceited about such a small thing but i am quite proud of myself.

I just cannot think on my feet and open my mouth, all i manage is a smile and nod and saying yes in agreement. ARRGH!!!!!

Why, why , why is this so hard?

I played tennis for the first time in months however everyone else there is like 20 years older than me, which kinda makes me a little awkward cause i got no idea what to talk about. They are really friendly but i cant get over the age gap thing. I know it shouldnt bother me but they all got proper jobs and kid like my age, just feel like my mum should be there instead of me.
I’m getting nowhere on this goal.

I really do want to be able to do this but i just cant think of anything to say. I look at my life and find very little to say that i think other ppl will be interested in. Therefore i dont really speak much.

but when i went away on a field trip with uni the people i went shared a room with i barely have anyhting in common other than the course we on. so it was difficult to pitch in with anything cause the stuff they talked about i didnt no anything about.

But there was one positive i spoke to loads of people on my course tht i would never have done had i not gone away. Even tho it was like for only a few minites at a time at least it was something. Now im really looking forward to going to uni, thn i can tell everyone who wasn’t there what happened (which is like all my pals)

Defantly worthwhile