be more social

went to the fightstar gig with some mates and and one of there girlfreinds brought two of her mates. Even though there was three of them and 4 of us i still felt like didnt no what to say. They were really greindly and outgoing so it should have been find but i did feel a little awkward. But they did help us skip the queue and get into the front row so happy days. :D

i did actually go out last night and NOT! to the cinema. Although it was to the union so nowhere new but it was a pretty shitty night out. It was completely dead in there but on the up side it ment we had no problems getting a pool table.
But a saturday night shouldnt be spent playing pool, i should be out partying. But i suppose i need to look at the positives and that was i did feel like i was talking more and more natually at least something good came out of it and i suppose i didnt stay in which is another plus point.

so it was my work night otu last night, and while i was really glad that i got out and socialised with them all, i was still really quiet, although i think i was ever so slightly better than i was before. I just get so stuck at what to say so i dont ever say anything. I dont think this problem will every fully go away but well i just feel like as long as i do go out and take up there offers to meet up then i need to, to improve. Anyway im kinda looking forward to going into work tomorrow casue for once i will be able to join in the conversation, i need to make sure i speak up now.

so theres this christmas night out i a couple of weeks time, which i am going to but i was invited to go to the pub before it to watch the football and get a few drinks in. I do want to go and get to know everyone better but at the same time im just so aware of how quiet i am thts whats putting me off going, not having anything to say.

actually went out on a weekday :O but totally glad i did, had such a great night, we bumped into some old mates from school and started chatting to them which was cool. Now i just hope i can build on this to gain more confidence to just talk to people.

when i met with a mate for some drinks i actually felt qute good, i think i was just more upbeat and positive about everything much more than i had been and that put me in a better mood to go out and socialise. Slowly i’m getting there, just need to go out more which i thik will get my confidence up and so make this easier. :D

things at uni are kinda messed up i got this temp job to at least earn me some money in the mean time. When i start working there i know i will need to talk to fit in and get to know the other people there. The thought scares and exceites me at the same time. I’m scared that i wont talk and mess up like i did in London but also because this a new start for me i really want to change for the better and am really wishing it will be what i need to get out there, meet some more people and be less afraid of talking to others.

Was just looking throw what goals i got here and i think that quite a few are similar but also are long term things. What i think i need to do is set some short term goals which are easy to achieve that i just havent got round to doing. I thik this will help motivate me to do some other stuff and maybe at a later stage i will add this goal again and achieve it.

loads in London, pratically every night. Completly hungover the next day but i really did hav fun and enjoyed myself cause i was around loads of ppl. Still lacking with the converstation side of this but at least i didnt stay in my room the entire time.
I want to go out more, need to make sure i do now im back.

there’s this uni trip to London in a few weeks for the whole year. Last year when we went away it was only for our unit (20 people) which i liked cause there was fewer people and i knew them best because i seen them everyday. But the person i would hang out with wanted to eat out and sort of hang out with the tutor, which is fair enough cause they all really nice poeple and she was a similar age to them, but i dont want that to happen this year.
This year causes the whole year can go i expected everyone to go so thts why i did finally pay the deposit, despite being very late i still had the chance to go. So was was dead exceited cause i thought i would be one of very few who was gonna just sit at home for tht week. But as time goes on more and more people that i acutally talk to say they’re not going which is kinda worrying me. During the day i’m not worried bout so much cause there’s a fixed schedule made up so thts fine, but at night we can do whatever we like and i dont want to stay in the hotel or anything like tht but i don’t know tht many others anyone tht well to feel i could tag along with them. I know for sure there is one person i know well going so i wont be alone, i just don’t really want to hang out with the tutor or whoever, i want to be around people my own age.
I’ve paid now so there’s no way i’m gonna back out, maybe i’m just thinkin bout this too much, i just worry a little that im no gonna have as much fun as i was kinda expecting or hoping for.