be more confident

1. dress sharp
2. walk faster
3. good posture
4. gratitude
5. compliment other people
6. sit in the front row
7. speak up
8. work out
9. focus on contribution

got no idea how well this works but i thought i would just post these steps casue at first glace they sound quite good, but i no its just practice that actually builds confidence.

so the team leader person at work is quite a bit older than me but she was telling me again about when she was 21 and went into her first job she was just like me. Really shy and timid and almost scared of everyone casue they were all so much louder than her. But now, well she is nothing like that, she speaks her mind regaurdless if it upsets the other person, shes really honest and upfront abd asked loads of questions. Shs really confident and has some good banter with pratically everyone she encounters.
But then she said that shes noticed a difference in me. I’ve been there for about 4 months and she says i speak up a wee bit more and join in more which she thought was good to see. :D Its such s small thing but i did really make my day casue i felt like i fit in now. She also it i took a while but your there now so its all good. Knowing that this is coming from someone who doesnt bullshit and tells you straight up what she thinks was great. I feel better about myself casue even thoguh i havent noticed a change she has and maybe other people have too.

so today was at work just as normal and well as i was sitting at the computer all morning i was nearest to the phone. And obviously it started ringing and someone shouted over that she left the phone on my desk and well i thought that was hint for me to answer it but i still turned round and asked if i should just answer it, which i did. And to my surprise i was quite calm the entire time. Its a bit sad but i am actually quite proud of myself for doing it and overcoming my fear of phones! :D

this sounds a bit stupid but i absolutly hate phoning people, espically people i dont know. At work anytime my managers around she always says that i need to answer the phone, but i know that they all have enquiries that i cant help them with, cause ive just started and cant do most of the stuff the others do, so thats why i hate picking up the phone. But in the past couple of days ive gotton better at calling others. See its really stupid but i know once youve done it a few times then its easy after that. But i still get nervous!

i do actually go out and socialise, even if i dont say too much i do feel better about myself for just going out and beign around other people. And so when i feel better, i’m more positive and therefore more confident :)

just found out that i failed my resit at uni and it sucks. I had no confidence in it before so its kinda expected, but that still doesnt soften the blow. When things are going your way your on a high and feel great but when you fail everything just turns against you and so i got know idea what to do.

Everyone tells me “you’ll be fine” “don’t worry about it” well in this case thats not true. So what am i ment to do? I feel like i’m in a dead end with no way out.

i get too worked up aboutthe smallest of things but then when i do actully do those things i think “why the fuck was that such a problem?” It makes me feel better as a soon as i do it, but the feeling only lasts till the next thing i worry about.
Its like i got all this social anxiety and it just builds up and up until i just feel like breaking down.

last week i went to this assertiveness workshop, thinkin this was the reason im quite shy, but while i was there most ppl just wanted to be able to say no, but thts the one thing i can do without thinkin anything of it. :)
But i did learn something, i’m really not articulate. (spelling?) i really struggle to get my thoughts in my head, in spoken words that makes sense to other ppl!

It didnt go to well, i wanted to talk but couldnt. I am suffering for a nasty cold and im coughing loads so i dont think anyone would want to get to close to me with tht. But in some ways i cant help thinkin im playing on this more and using it as an excuse. Thts the last thing i want to do but im just really struggling.

A pal mentioned an assertiveness workshop at uni and i thought thts exactly what i need so I signed up for it. I hope tht will help me.

On tht London trip i learned tht if i just stop worrying bout what ppl think of me i do actually enjoy everything a lot more. Before i would tend to over think stuff and tht got me worked bout even the smallest of things. Going back to uni tomorro so lets see if i can keep this up.