reflect on things for which I'm grateful

My absence from here has been long, so long that when I return I feel a bit like a voyeur, someone peeking through a window at a family underway. But on this national day of Thanksgiving, I feel I must return here, to my base, my loved ones, my gratitudes. I am thankful for so much, far too much to mention, so in the 5 grat tradition:

*the waft of cinnamon and nutmeg
*expanding knowledge
*his wonder in the night sky
*that she still loves to cuddle
*the authentic ache of missing

And of course, you, I am thankful for you.

It’s been far too long. Five for Friday, August 7:

1. Early morning gooseflesh.
2. A sip of time and quiet, just enough to remember the taste.
3. Sadness, on the road to actuation.
4. Terrazu, black and steaming.
5. Commitment (SW3307).

I have been too busy to stop and be grateful. Gratitude is always there, at times in greater abundance than others, but this morning it has a Name, five in fact. Today I am grateful:

-For dear friends who share their stories in the wee morning hours;
-For the return of buckwheat chocolate chip pancakes, and childlike enjoyment;
-For fantasies, shared and honored;
-For the luxury of sunshine, and time to feel it on my face;
-That some days love can be that simple, and that deep.

Today I am grateful…

for stunning red roses, signed Yours;
for the one who sent them;
for palpable longing as basis for action;
for the difficult and the wonderful;
for friends who care enough to say it.

Today I am grateful for:
1) Cool mornings in August
2) My wonderful children
3) Memories of breakfast on the porch at Maple Valley
4) A blissful afternoon of virtually unquenchable desire (although the attempts are sublime, aren’t they?)
5) Homemade almond flax granola and fair-trade guatemalan

6)Longing, and fulfillment

Right now I am grateful for:
1. the breathtaking sunset blazing outside my window;
2. my children, who can always find a way to blast through my inadvertent reluctance to smile;
3. Music, specifically Bach organ, and the healing balm of unison voices;
4. My heart, which has been clenched like a fist these days, unfurling to touch the world; and
5. Life, and the promise of it.
AND THE BONUS:
6. Sweet friendship, with and without butterflies.

In concert with my gratitude for all my 43T friends, I’m grateful for:

1) Empathy
2) Signs of Spring
3) Creative alliances
4) Love beyond boundaries
5) The way the Universe maintains its equilibrium

1)homemade hummus, with fresh vegs (yum!)
2)Gracious cheerbombers
3)Mindfulness in choices and in life
4)The healthy ache of missing
5)Re-visiting the past, the path, to know where I have come from, and where I’m going.

In order to get in the right frame of mind for this challenging day, I decided to begin by focusing on gratitude. At first I could not bring myself to be grateful for much. This morning has been one of those autopilot mornings, in which things are nothing more than what they are, no brilliance or possibility shining in the centers. An obligatory, “go through the motions” morning, lacking joy or verve of any kind. A morning like this is survived but not relished. So now to turn my thinking around in order to make the rest of the day crackle with energy, sparkle with light. Lordy, I hope this works….

Gratitudes:

I am grateful for hot, delicious coffee (Guatemalan) OK, it’s a start…
I am grateful for my 10-year-old’s bountiful curls, that insist on bouncing and dancing and going their own way, just like her…
I am grateful for patient friends, better friends than I, who give me room to mourn things and screw up and neglect them for a time, but open their arms all the same when I return and understand, or try to…
I am grateful for poetry that speaks to my soul when my soul cannot speak for itself…
I am grateful for dark, dark chocolate in little, little bits…
I am grateful for this sturdy base of a home life, and the people who comprise it, from which I can venture out into the world to explore and become…
I am grateful for those fellow travelers on this expedition, fellow searchers, their honesty and interest…
I am grateful for fire, the way it catches, and spreads.

On this, the final Saturday of 2007, I’m grateful that:

*SuperSimon is back, and cheering
*Winter gray is outside my window, validating this inside day
*My sweet, ill daughter is resting comfortably
*I have the words, and the unexpected time to write them
*I have the insight and, yes, bravery, to move forward into a new year, with anticipation and joy.