finish college

Since I’ve last written on this issue, there have been many many bad things happen in my family.

My grandma, who raised me, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she doesn’t have much longer judging by the way she is recovering. I’ve spent 3 weeks in the hospital with her and more time at her home. She’s failing so much. It breaks my heart. But she is helping me to accept what will happen. I love her so much. Please pray for a painless end for her.

Also, my youngest son is not doing well. He has emotional/behavioral disabilities. His teacher thinks I need ot put him in the hospital to be medicated and stablized. While I want to do what’s best for him, I feel like if he goes in the hospital, I won’t be able to handle it.

I’ve also sunk into a deep depression and have been in my home. I can’t get myself out of this funk. I have since stopped going to school….I can’t function at this point. I am trying to get my family and myself back on track, which unfortunately means that I am not going to graduate this semester as planned.

With the events going on in my life right now, I’m wondering how in the world i’ll be able to make it through the semester. I have only 1 semester to go. I am set to graduate in may, but i’m trying to figure out how to juggle a full college schedule, when i can’t keep my youngest son in daycare. UURRRRG

I…after much thought, have decided to take the summer semesters off this year. I was set to graduate in December after a lifetime of classes it seems. But, a degree without a sane mind to enjoy it, would not be worth the time and effort. So I am taking a “Mental Health Break” over the summer. I’ll be ready to graduate in May. Hopefully then I can cook my kids something other than Ramen Noodles and frozen pizza. :-) Hang in there guys!

I finished my first semester back. While I was shooting for all A’s, I’m okay with how it turned out. Especially considering I missed a week for my 82 yr old gma to have 5 bypass surgery and a valve replacement and dealing with my 8 yr old son being diagnosed with Severe Emotional Dysfunction, ADHD and possibly tirret’s Syndrom. I ended up with 2 A’s and 2 B’s. YEAH!!! Summer classes start June 4.

I’ve been back in school since January. I’m going full time, working part time and taking care of my 2 rambunctious boys by myself. I’ve not had time to sleep, eat or breathe, let alone come online. I did get my midterm grades….I earned 3 As and 1 B. YEAH. I’ll be around guys. Shoot me a message sometime.

I started back to classes yesterday!

I am moving back up north in about a week to be close to the university that I need in order to finish my degrees. I will be starting back to school in January taking at least 2 classes. While this will be a challenge as I work full time and have 2 little boys, it is one that I welcome and plan to face head on. I’m so excited…..and nervous….and stressed….But I keep trying to focus on the positive outcome of our move and what happiness it will bring to my boys once I have degrees to fall back on. I know then, that I will be better equipped to support them in the way they deserve to be supported.

I just e-mailed my last paper for my film class. Yes, it was a “pud” class per se, but it counts as my final English requirement and I’m DONE!!! :-) Now I have to figure out where I’m going to finish my degree so I can get enrolled.

I am feeling very discouraged with this one. I have been working my ass off, literally, trying to just survive everyday. Exhaustion is not the word for it. I don’t know what I am going to do about school. I am a junior but if i go to KU, I’ll lose most of my law classes. If I go to MoWest, I keep the classes and it’s more comfortable for me, but I would have to leave my job and uproot the kids again. Besides this dilema, I’m not sure I would even survive another class. I’m only keeping up in this one because it’s a film class that all we do is watch movies and write papers. If I actually had to apply myself, I would have to take effort from other things to do that. The only thing in my life that can afford time lost, is recreation. God knows I don’t want to pull back on that. I love my weekends with my friends. It’s my release, my vise. I just want to stop going for a while. Just until the boys are a little older, but I know if I stop, it’ll be that much harder to go back. But jeez, I haven’t even had time to fill out my grant application. And it was due in Feb. URRRGGGGHHH.

I started back to college last night. It was easier than I thought it would be. I was tired by the end of the night, but the class I am taking seems fairly easy so hopefully, it’ll be a good 1st semester back.