not live according to what someone ELSE thinks I should do.

It seems like this is a cycle that I keep getting into. I try to appease everyone and I end up giving up what I want to do. I need to focus on this goal again, See entry: go toe to toe with myself.

I feel that I have pretty much completed this goal. I have taken charge of my life and not accepted what other’s think I should do with my life. I have pushed away the people in my life that are not genuine and I am better for it. I have done what I want to do, regardless of what people think I should do. SO, I mark this as, DONE.

Everyday, I have people telling me what they think I should do about this and that. I wish they would all just let me live my life. I have an ex-bf and and ex-husband that both think I should be with them, when I really just want to enjoy being alone for a while. I have an aunt who thinks it’s her responsibility to tell me to not speak to either of them, even though I have children to worry about. And I have my heart that says that I don’t want to lose contact with these two people, but I want them to accept that I’m happy being alone and not ruin my “single life” for me. What is it about men that they think a woman has to be with a man to be happy and it should be them? I don’t get it.

Today, in keeping in contact with the ex-bf, I stood up for myself and didn’t play his little head games. I told him if he had something to say, just to say it, otherwise shut the f… up about it. He asked why I was being a bitc* today and I just told him I’m tired of the BS and I’m not playing games with him anymore. He got off the phone and I haven’t heard from him since. Pat on the back for Jerebel getting a spine!

So I just took a HUGE step on this goal. I left my boyfriend and I am starting over with me and my kids. I”m getting my own apartment, and I’m going to live how I WANT TO, not how everyone else thinks I should. I’m going to play with my kids, every day and if I want to cuddle with them one night, I will, and no one can make me feel like a bad partner because I’m spending time with my children. I can’t wait to have my own apartment. I know it sounds lame, but I’ve never had my own place before. I’m so excited.!