decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life

This is so stressful. Especially lately where it seems to be all I can think about. The boyfriend gets out of the military in September and wants to go straight into college and get some type of degree. I know if I went back, it would be awesome that he would also be there. I spent one year in college and already have around $9,000 in student loans. So unless I am 100% positive I will earn a degree and be able to find some sort of job I could be good at, I don’t want to go back to waste any more money.

I know I should go back to college and hopefully using a degree will allow me to get a job in which I could pay back all the loans. I want a good life. I want to get married and have kids. I want to have a job that pays decently so my family doesn’t always have to be so concerned with money.

So degree, yes. But I have no clue what to major in at all. I have thought about everything, but can’t seem to really make my mind up. I love working with kids, but I don’t really have an interest in being a teacher. Accounting? I absolutely loved it in high school, but I don’t know if it would hold any interest for me anymore. Plus I don’t have the confidence in myself that I wouldn’t screw up. I’m worried that if I actually take on a job with lots of responsibility, I wont measure up.

I have no idea. I spend so much time thinking about this, but I can never come up with a decision. I made out a schedule tonight in case I wanted to go back to college. If I decided to major in accounting, the current choice although I may hate it if I start taking the classes, going full time with a full schedule, I could graduate December 2010. It is so expensive, but I think a degree would pay for itself with the money I would earn compared to the money without it. But I still don’t know. I told my mom and she said there was no point in me going back because I wouldn’t stay. Which made my confidence completely bottom out. She’s probably right anyway. Although I have to make a decision now because she is getting me on as a sub where she works. Minimum wage for maybe one day a month. I can’t find anything else though and I do like working with kids. I could always try to save up money and go back later on, but that presents problems in itself. I have no idea as usual.

I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but still no clue as to what I want to do with it.

So, just what the hell should I be doing? I am at a point in my life where the time has come to make a decision. The only problem is I really have absolutely no clue where to go from here. I have been undecided most of my life, and I still am. Do I remain in college, going further into debt? If I knew what I wanted to do, then the answer would be yes. However, I have no clue what I would major in and there is absolutely no reason to remain there if I would just quit later on. Do I quit and resolve to live my life working a low paying job? I don’t really want to do that either. I know I am capable of so much more and it would be unfair to me and my future family. Do I leave the university I currently attend and opt for community college instead? It seems a viable solution at the moment. It would be so much cheaper and allow me to get all my general education classes out of the way. I could always return to the university next year. But I don’t know. I do want to go back to the school I attend, but I am just afraid of wasting money. It seems that switching to community college at this point would be the best option, but I just can’t decide.

I’ve already decided what I want to do with my life, but the problem is actually doing it and finding the person to do it with.