List Impossible Goals I've Spotted on 43 Things

“fly up into the sky and then chew on some bubble gum flavored broccoli while the whole moon floats on the Atlantic, Indian and Pacific Oceans which somehow all got transported to a different dimension and galexy so, the moon has trouble getting there, and”

And what?

“become calm and tranquil like a buddhist monk meditating at Lake Placid and when people aren’t expecting it BAM! I’ll turn into a supersized ferocious crocodile and eat them.”

This reminds me of those old transformer toys.

“I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills”

I just don’t think it could work.

I’m sorry.

“skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope”

I don’t really think this needs an explanation…

“unite pirates and ninjas”

Pirates and ninjas will never unite. Duh.

“fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey”

I want a legion of super mutant zombie monkeys.

“prong satan with a giant fork”

Maybe Satan is their kid’s name?

“devour a bottle of Adrenochrome and wake up in a flooded hotel room with a dinosaur tail strapped to my butt, a recorder on my chest, drug paraphenalia floating across the room and a six-shooter in the toilet.”

For some reason, I can’t stop laughing.

“I wanna ride my harley on planet pluto beneath flying unicorns and aliens drunk on vodka”

Good luck with that.

“Decorate myself with fabulous people”

I would love to see this. I want an outfit made of humans.