enjoy every day

This gets harder everyday and infact it’s easier to be miserable ans stay miserable. I need coffee to run off and waking up early in the morning is always a bit of a chew evening if I have something interesting to look forward too. It might be something to do with my diet as I’ve been eating alot of junk recently and spplementing my diet with vitamin pills.

I think the major factor is the impending doom of the likely chances are that I had screwed up my retakes and the possible consequence of my company withdrawing their sponsorship, and also not knowing how I can approach this at a different angle as I feel like I’ve out sooo much time and energy into where I can not honestly see myself attempting it all over again for a third time as my instincts tell me that those who have reached a stage that they are doing this paper for the third time, those are the people who inevitably get caught be in never completing the course.

Most mornings I get up as late as possible, literally 30mins before I leave. Iron my shirt, prepare lunch from yesterdays left overs. On bad days I don’t have any breakfast and end up buying a chocolat au pain from the news agents. I kiss my girlfriend and then leave the flat, plug in my walkman, listen to tracks that will uplift me – not the ones I liked as a teenager, walk to the station, pick up a free newpaper, read the short-but-sweet articles I find interesting, read the comic strips, think about last night and the conversations I had last night with my girlfriend, try and fall asleep once I manage to get a seat on the train after offering it to passengers who may need it more, think about my life, fall asleep, open my eyes again, think about where I am in life, change line then walk to the office building, have a 5 min convesation with the receptionist and then slowly wake up.

I’ve had a pleasant day today despite being still a bit flu-ridden. I got some amusing emails from a friend of mine. I seemed to get on a lot better with my team mate today but I’m not sure if it was because he was grateful i didn’t take more time off work ill, that I was more productive, or that he was just in a good mood. For whatever reason I enjoyed today too. I don’t get on with everyone at work. In fact there are a few people I really don’t get along with and even when you’re trying to be nice to them they think you’re being fake. Anyway I closed up to day and walked to the station with one of the girls from Conference who it was good having a convesation with.
At the moment I’m listening to British Sea Power Radio on a website called http://www.pandora.com and I’m also trying to get hold of of a NLP CD on Ebay for my girlfriend, the auction ends in 14mins, I think this could make or break my day.

But, things that I enjoyed today.

1) Part leading the group in the tai chi class and getting into a ‘flow’.
2) Walking to work from the station instead of taking the bus.
3) Being calm most of the day.
4) Feeling and being confident at work.