I have read all your entries and I can so relate to you we are going through the same thing I thought I was the ONLY one feeling like this … it doesn’t make me feel better that your going through this because its hell but at least someone UNDERSTANDS me like I understand you because am living it 24/7 . We are wearing the same shoes… Its horrible I can’t stop this awful habit that’s ruining our life and its something so stupid … .Jus don’t do it ….. easy to say but really really hard to do its not that easy its like an addiction … its like when people cut themselves kinda the same thing but instead you pinch I can relate to those people because they are hurting themselfs and that’s what am doing hurting myself ruining my life and what’s worse its not only my life but the people around me my loved ones am hurting them aswell…. If only we could stop somehow some way …maybey by counselling or therapy…. like alcoholics or drug addicts addmiting they have a problem first. Or by the help of God with a miracle SOMETHING Some way there’s has to be …. we can’t live like this for the rest of our lifes it would be awful I’ve lived like this for 9 yrs now and its been sad …. you miss out in a lot of stuff…you suffer a lot its so painfull and stress ful and with that comes many more issues ….low self esteem, depression, anxiety , mood changes, the list goes on I can write a book honestly so many things …. its just so hard to go to a doctor or counselor and talk about it ….they ask what’s wrong well ummm I pinch my face and that’s why am depressed it sounds so so dumb and stupid it doesn’t sound bad but its something so awful and horrible its hell!!! Its even worse because I don’t have a name its a little of everything ….its like an alchol and drug addict because you can’t stop and because not always you admit you have a problem … its like an eating disorder because the ones that have bulimia and anorexia they may be so thin and skinny and yet they see themselves big and fat but they are not its in their head that’s how I feel when I look in the mirror that I have a lot of acne and acne marks even though some people tell me its not bad …. I see it so its kinda like that and its also like cutters because when they cut they feel a little bit better and when they do cut they feel even worse that’s what happens too but the picking or pinching the face is 5 times worse because at least they could hide their cuts under the sleeves but us…. we can’t cover our face… we can’t cover our face with a paper brown bag even though it would be better than looking at your self every single day ….because evrytime I look in the mirror I suffer and well yeah make up but doesn’t make it better only worse and you feel worse too..its stress anxiety compulsive disorder…. What is it what would you call it ? Does it even have a name for this living nightmare?? When will I finally be at Peace with myself and stop hurting me ? I honestly don’t want to hurt myself its something I can’t help …. I’m always so hard on myself for hurting myself …I can’t forgive myself !!!! Can anyone help before its to late??? I honestly can’t imagine living like this for the rest of my life…. please help …. someone help in ending this torture. I wanna be normal and do normal things enjoy the simplest things in life most important be happy and love myself because if I don’t love myself how could I love anyone??? The mind is so powerful and mine so weak….I wanna enjoy life to the fullest and not worry about stupid shit ugh it jus makes me so mad and unhappy so worthless can’t live a normal life ….can’t keep a job can’t go to school …. can’t do anything just fighting with myself that’s my awful life and here comes the rest the neverending story…. Behind the smile guilt…
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jmo6oh has written 2 entries about this goal
I thought I was the only one with this awful terrible bad habit!!!! It doesn’t make feel any better because I know exactly what your going through…. Its hell !!! Its ruining my life …I feel so sad so unhappy….so miserable….when is this nightmare going to end when am dead is that the only solution suicide!!!! You may think if its that bad stop pinching I can’t I tryed so so so many times and I always fail why …...this urge I feel this anxiety the tiny little black heads and white heads that itch and plus theirs mirrors every where its impossible. I think this is worse than being an alcholic or drug addict that’s how bad my habit is ….am always mad at myself thinking why do I have to pinch and having the scars always to remind you what you did its horrible a nightmare I radther be dead I know am never gonna be able to stop this awful bad habit …. for that I would need a good expensive acne treatment ….laser resurfacing to not see my acne scars that’s so expensive as well ….. counseling for the depression and anxiety….all the compulsive bhavior being so dam negative ….having mood swings having million of problems with my boyfriend cuz of the same thing …. he will never UNDERSTAND am just making him so unhappy and miserable I hate myself so much am living with my own worst enemy and for pinching and being guilty for not being their for my daughter and feeling like a bad mother naw …...too complicated just radther be dead and even if I could do all that I wouldn’t be able to pay because I can’t even keep a job because of the same issue I feel so worhless ...Its always raining in my head….. no matter how hard I try …how positive I am I always fail I give up its a never ending story ….imagine being chained to the one person in the world you hate the most ….and you’ll never be able to escape from them imagine relising that you HATE who you’ve become. And knowing that you have to live with the person who has HURT you so much for the rest of your life…. I don’t wish this to anyone not even to my worst enemy ….I don’t have a life….I don’t have hope … I feel so dam ugly and mad at myself for. Causing me all this pain and I don’t have strenght to continue…. wish everyone the best of luck…..