In the Buddhist perspective, one would say I have the right “understanding” and the right “motivation” but I am severely lacking in the Paramita called Virya…roughly translated into diligence.
I’m still attending Chan class every Thursday night (which includes a 30-minute sitting mediation and a 5-minute walking meditation), but my regular practice has evaporated with this heat wave we’re having.
I need to figure out how to mentally challenge myself to remember to do it every day, the way I’ve successfully kept on with my daily crunches. I need to piece out the time….deep breath…we’ll figure this out…
So I took a week off from meditating, for personal reasons. I know that sounds vague and weird, but it was a conscious decision. I’m back into it now, so it’s full speed ahead.
On another note: sitting tonight at Chan was HARD. My darn legs felt like they were going to fall off after sitting that long. Then the walking meditation just felt weird because my calves were all rubbery feeling. I promised myself going into it, though, that I would learn from whatever the experience tonight brought me, and I did.
Meditation continues to be a source of important solace and self-development.
I am 6 days in row of meditating. I think I may have forgotten Friday, but I was earnestly planning on meditating that day…just somehow slipped by… Ah, well, I’m human. But hey, technically I meditated twice on Thursday because I went to advanced Chan class that night. Yay!
It’s only 5 minutes a day right now, so I’m going to up it by one minute every week. So starting Wednesday I’ll meditate for six minutes a day. Keeping it with baby steps.
The quality of my meditation isn’t great yet. I’ve been trying to practice compassion contemplation, which is arduous and bit like a Catholic rosary, except it’s not a penance thing, but it’s helped me sustain my clear mind more than just regular sitting.
Onward I go!
I successfully meditated for 5 minutes last night and also this morning before work. That’s two days in a row already! And tonight I’ll sit for 30 minutes in Chan class. Yay!
I think the Buddha would laugh at my entry title…I shouldn’t judge myself so harshly, but rather redirect my energy towards better meditation.
Last week at Chan class, sitting for 30 minutes was pretty uplifting and centering (though my left leg fell asleep like you wouldn’t believe – ouch!), and I wondered…what’s so hard about sitting once a day? That “hard” part is exactly the point, or at least one of the main hurdles of a spiritual practice: discipline.
I think I will start over tonight and sit for just five minutes. As the japanese zen proverb goes: Fall down seven times, get up eight.
So I’ve been practicing meditation once a week for about 7 weeks now during my chan class. This is a really great start, but ideally my practice would be so much more beneficial if I practiced every day.
So, I’m going to try to dedicate myself a little more and set aside five minutes every evening to meditation, just before going to bed, no matter how late it is. I’ll try to update here now and then to report how that’s going.
Meditation class was HARD tonight. My little monkey mind was running ALL over the place, but it happens. Just have to keep at it. My regular practice is non-existent. Hopefully by the end of my 12 weeks in beginning Ch’an I’ll have a routine of meditating daily…hopefully…
isn’t great, but it’s a start.
I’ve been taking a weekly zen meditation class and it’s been really great to get back into practicing and connecting with other people who want to learn about the teachings of Buddha. Some of the “rules” and rituals of the formal setting feel a little too church-y to me sometimes, but I can roll with it as my sign of respect for receiving the teaching and the opportunity to practice.