Interesting that three years ago I wrote about day-dreaming of beaded trees. I still think about them (although bead embroidery, not peyote stitch)... or embroidered quilts or wool wall hangings or large mixed media paintings. Sometimes I see them in my mind while looking at blank walls at work. I fear that if I ever give myself the time to pursue creating the things in my visions, they’ll fall flat. But I know fear isn’t a reason not to try.
In my free time I’m lazy. I watch tv and crochet granny squares or I dick around on the internet. The granny squares satisfy the urge to play with color and to work with my hands. I’m knitting on my train commutes as well.
Running is my other focus. When I’m done with a run, I just want to relax. I barely make time to cook and clean. I work just barely 40 hours, and I know so many other people work so much more. I don’t know my excuse. But I know eventually there will be a day (or I need to set aside time for one) where I can let my creativity free. I’m not sure when, and I fear it may be anti-climactic. And in the meantime, I continue to dream.
I’ve been thinking about this goal quite a bit lately. I’ve been crafting, knitting mostly, but I haven’t let my creativity out in quite a while. Sometimes ideas dance in my head, but sometimes I shut ideas down, or feel like I have no creative spark at all. It’s time to cultivate that.
I feel like I’ve been nurturing my creative side a lot more, as I’ve really gotten into knitting this past year. I’ve done a little sewing and a little crocheting as well. I’m tempted to cross this off, but I feel like I could still prioritize this more and I think it’s a good goal to have.
I definitely could get more creative with my knitting. Usually, I just follow patterns as written. And I’d definitely want to get back to my other crafts I love, and maybe do some sort of creative web project. But I’m glad I’m giving this side of me more attention lately.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted to 43thing. A year ago, I moved to Chicago. Before I left, I feel like I’d let go of this goal a bit. I’d been focused very much on running, and my career was going well. Even though this goal was on my list, I was somewhat at peace with not pursing crafts or other creative pursuits. I’d let go.
But now, work is feeling less full-filling. My running is going on, but I’m not improving the way I used to. My BP runs too now, better than me, so I feel like having it as a key piece of my identity isn’t as strong—it isn’t just mine anymore. I feel like I need something.
So this is on my mind a lot more. I have visions of sewing and other craft projects in my head, but of course I don’t act on them. But the desire is stronger than it’s been in a while. I’ve squeezed some things in from time to time, but not as much I want. I want. I keep wanting.
At work, my big project ended, and there’s been lots of maintenance and update work now, but we’ve also got another project underway that’s more creative. It feels good to be getting more excited about the web the way I used to be, no matter how this project pans out.
I’ve been thinking about beadwork again recently. I used to do a lot of it, but its been a long time. I’ve been picturing peyote stitched trees, with long trunks of shiny dark brown bugle beads and matte Japanese rounds.
But honestly, I have no idea when I’d work on this. (Maybe I should really consider that spend less time on the internet goal.)
It helps to have my paints and brushes and paintings where I can get to them. It makes me feel like I don’t need to long for a creative outlet, that its easily accessible to me. I painted a bit more this evening, and it felt good. It’s not my greatest skill or talent, but yeah, it felt good.
The other night I got out some paints and brushes and a painting I’d started months, maybe years ago. It felt nice to work on it. Lately, it seems like all I think about it running, so this was good.
This goal calls out to me, but I haven’t made time to listen. I’ve been taking care of myself through exercise, but it is hard to make time for everything. Beadwork and other crafts used to be a very big part of my life, and I miss it.
I’ve been neglecting this lately. I’ve been focusing quite a bit on my health—exercise and food, and I realize that its been a while since I’ve indulged my creative side.
This occurred to me a couple weeks ago in Flash Animation class. I wanted to get out early so I could head to the gym, but as I did I felt a twinge of regret. I’ve forgotten how good it feels to let myself play with shape and color.
Last week, I stuck around during class, even though we had the option to leave early. The instructor said “Do you guys feel like I’ve just brought out a bunch of finger paints and I’m letting you play?”. It’s true—that is how it felt. And it felt good.
At work, we’re starting up craft lunches again. So tomorrow, I hope to spend sometime working on the beadwork project I started about a year ago.
Time to focus on this goal a bit.