the mess and cleaning has been solved by just cleaning an hour day, it is no longer an enigma to me.
but as for scheudling, it’s really challenging.
there are not enough hours in the day for the kind of work I do. I made two sculptures about a little less than 5 feet tall for my class, I go to art school, but I still have scholarship apps to fill out and work for my job to do. I’m behind on my reading for class.
I don’t go out as much these days because I have alot of work to do, and I know I won’t be able to enjoy myself nearly as much as if I just got my work done first.
It’s always in the back of my mind.
I’m transferring to a school that will let me set my own pace and not do tons of useless work so I can focus on setting my priorities when it comes to my education, that hopefully will help.
There are the thoughtful things that there just aren’t the kind of time for currently. stuff like, making my own food more often, eating fresh produce versus ordering pizza.
I’ve been good with writing letters, writing in my journal and incorporating some exercise and meditation in my week, but there is a balance that isn’t currently in my life.
I don’t spend as much time on the computer, I feel worked to the bone, my fingers hurt from painting and cutting cardboard all day. I’m finishing off the night with a beer. Tomorrow I go to my work and take photos of elderly folk hanging out with my sculptures.
It’ll be cool, just draining. Then I come home and work on scholarships and if I have time a book I am required to make for one of my classes and then I have to make 400 paper cranes for this other project I came up with to mail cranes to elementary schools across the country.
Ahhhhh.
I have high expectations of myself, I want to do thoughtful, creative fun work that is quality, but the world seems to focus on quantity, how many assignments can we put on these kids, I’m not a kid anymore and even when I was there was far too much to do, work and paying rent, etc.
I’m 24, with a job that should be full time to really complete the work that needs to be done and then going to school taking 5 classes and commuting and hour to get there on the train.
It’s alot and although I am producing alot of new thoughts about life and art, I am glad to know that when this semester ends I will be changing my lifestyle drastically.
If you want a life of peace I don’t think it can be made entirely out of stress. Surely some stress with occur naturally it’s the other side of the ‘peace’ spectrum, the other side of the stick I guess. But when you intentionally plan for it, it seems it always becomes unbalanced.
I want to incorporate a life of peace so I may live a peaceful life.
Like making an ocean with water, instead of sand.
Too many times we think that we need to live a life of fast paced, stress to some day live a life of calm and relaxation, but I think that is like trying to build an ocean out of sand.
Yes, you need sand for the ocean to lay upon, but it all you use is sand, you will have a desert not an ocean.
It you live a life of stress you will have a desert not an ocean.

