devise a radical self-improvement plan

Bocce ball is part of the self improvement plan. I’m trying to get together some friends in the neighborhood for a simple enjoyable event on a monthly or bi-monthly basis.

I’m also reading a great book about the adaptive unconcious. I ran across these lines from The Merchant of Venice:

In sooth I know not why I am so sad,
It wearies me: you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuffe ‘tis made of, whereof it is borne,
I am to learne: and such a Want-wit sadnesse makes of
mee,
That I have much ado to know my selfe

And I’m writing my biography of early life memories.

1. Riding my bike to work
2. Considering learning to meditate (and devoting 30 minutes a day to do it)
3. Improving my cookery
4. Being kinder
5. Judging less
6. Exploring a new civic project

Another part of my general attempt to radically improve myself has been to learn more about myself. Self knowledge is a worthy pursuit but not something easily achieved. Earlier in the year, in trying to explain my theory about why the Beattles aren’t so great, and why I appreciate The Who or The Rolling Stones or The Kinks so much more than the fab four, I realized I appreciated the Blues more than I had ever really acknowledged. That’s the sort of insight I’m hungry for – the fundamental truth of realizing “I like the Blues” – that’s helped me a ton in sorting out what sort of Rock rocks, and what leaves me cold.

I think I’m having a similar insight into literary fiction. I just don’t care for it that much. I like genre fiction, like mysteries, thrillers, suspense, even good science fiction and fantasy. Literary fiction (like even the rather political Philip Roth book I’m reading right now) leaves me cold. Now obviously lots of folks enjoy literary fiction and the Beatles. But I don’t, very much.

So I’d like to come up with similar nuggets of self knowledge in slightly more profound areas of my life. For instance, I recently learned that I am a highly emotional person. Is it strange to just learn this at 34 years old? When Daniel first told me I was an emotional person I didn’t really believe it. But as I’ve tested it out on myself and others, I’ve come to realize that I am indeed highly emotional. And that’s already starting to be OK with me. It’s a new idea, and yet it is supposedly who I am. How was I hiding it from myself?

I think I’ll call my radical self improvement plan complete when I have 3-5 more personal insights like these. I’ve been taking personality tests and psychological quizzes to try and get a foothold, but most don’t turn up too much. Have you learned anything about yourself recently? How did you do it?

A couple themes have been developing on my radical self improvement plan. First are just a few catchy lines I liked:

1. “I’m going to suck this lemon dry”
2. “farming the great rhyzome underneath all humanity”
3. “accept all offers”

I also think riding my bike figures in to this, and maybe a tattoo. And probably therapy.

And then I forgot what it was. I wish I was joking about this.