Do what it takes to be a great Dad

Sophia and I both love soccer. We spent Saturday afternoon with 50,305 fans watching Mexico vs. Ecuador in an unforgettable setting. Sharing time and interests feels like good glue.

Happy birthday Sabs!

I took Sophia to Washington DC for a 5 day trip last month. It was phenomenal. So great to spend time with my first born exploring a city I love. We spent really memorable time together: touring congress, visiting museums, and a special tour of the West Wing of the Whitehouse. Sophia’s favorite parts? Going to the zoo, seeing pandas, and renting bikes to ride around the Mall and through Rock Creek Parkway. What I’ll remember most? Holding her hand while she skipped across Lafayette Square, Angry Birds fest in the hotel room, and indulgent ice cream feasts out on the patio. It is so great to have those memories with her.

I’m looking forward to my other two kids having this rite of passage at 10, a solo trip with Dad to Washington, DC. And I’m looking forward to coming up with new destinations to explore 1:1 with the family.

I’ve been thinking about a better way to word my goal for a while. I’m going to try this out. Inspired in part by Ric Elias’s Ted Talk on confronting your regrets: http://www.ted.com/talks/ric_elias.html

This goal still needs a better name.

The objective remains the same. Right now, while my kids are still young, I’m treated with interest and regard by my kids. I feel like each day that goes by is another day where I either furthered my chances of maintaining that sort of rapport with my kids, or I lose it a little bit.

And it isn’t always easy to figure out. Today, Sophia was late for car pool, so I picked up the neighbors and came back for her. When I found her waiting in the alley, she was not happy. I got the silent treatment all the way to school. As a parent, I wouldn’t have played it any differently. As a future lonely old man, I hope she’ll have softened. I think of soccer too. I’ve got too many insights on how to improve her game, but probably not enough insight into how to make her confident and proud of herself.

I wish I had the right wording for this goal. I feel like if I could think it through better, I could get a foothold on making more progress.

My mom is sick right now, and her kids are all involved in taking care of her. I don’t think she worried about this sort of thing and she didn’t need to. My Dad is living out of state and we see him almost not at all. Even when he visits. No doubt, that’s why this goal weighs on my mind.

I had a chance to walk Sophia to school this morning, all by ourselves, and it was simply golden. She loves school and she was radiant in the weak Seattle morning sun. I’ve already forgotten what we talked about, but she reminded me of those years when she was our only child, and how easy it was to enjoy your own child. This was certainly the high point of my week, if not my month, who knows, maybe my year. I love you sweetheart.

I just changed the name of my goal here from “Remain close to my children” to “Increase the odds that my kids will still talk to me when they grow up”. I felt like the “Remain” goal was too static and too hard to show any progress. It isn’t like this new goal is that much easier to measure, but I can at least keep track of anecdotes that relate positive or negative outcomes.

I’m also boosting this goal to number 2 on my list. Number 1 is about making sure my loved ones know I love them. Number 2 is about going the extra mile for my kids to make sure they know I want to always be a part of their lives.

So I hope I’m not doing this wrong. And I hope my kids will still talk to me when they grow up.

We are expecting a new baby at the end of April or early May. It ought to be exciting!

Remember when you were growing up, and you went to your friends house and it seemed like your friend was actually nice to their brothers and sisters and maybe even their parents? Or maybe you met someone in college who loved talking to their parents about what was going on in their life and looked forward to seeing them at the holidays. How does that work?