be more social

I have felt myself drawing back into just hanging out with myself. It is so much easier than dealing with the drama others love to bring to the table. I am trying hard to work through this though and not end up that way. Though it makes things easier, it also makes me unhappy in the long run.

with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. That is a big step for me seeing that social engagements are the easy ones for me to skip out on. I can be social one on one with just about anyone but I tend to falter in groups. I can speak in front of a crowd all day, but the small talk and mingling just makes me feel like a big goofball! It will be the first time I have really spent time with the friend since college. I am expecting a good time….we will see!!!

I have been taking an active role going out more and putting myself in situations where I will meet new people. I have met a ton of new people but the problem is that I still feel awkward the next time I see them. I envy the people who can just walk into a room and feel comfortable. When I walk into a room, I find myself searching for the corner so I can hide! I have to force myself to get out into the middle and actually have a good time. Will I ever become comfortable in a crowd?