keep a cleaner house

I thought that putting this goal on this site would help me achieve it, but the reminder emails just make me feel horribly guilty about not making any progress. Then, because I feel so bad I avoid this site.
I’m going to try again. I’m going to look at other people’s goals and entries for inspiration and see if I can get myself going again.

Well, I haven’t really made any progress but I’ve been maintaining the mess where it is. It hasn’t gotten much worse, but not much better either. The kitchen floor is getting kind of bad. There are Donnie Darko dust bunnies along the baseboard.
I have plans today that will take me away from the house. So the plan for tomorrow is the kitchen floor.

I motivated myself today by making the rule that I couldn’t watch one of my favorite TV shows (So You Think You Can Dance) unless I did dishes on commercial breaks. I washed all of the utensils, plates, bowls and pots we use day-to-day.
Right now I could actually cook and eat something in my kitchen without having to wash the dishes I need to do it first. I know that may not sound like a big deal, but for me right now it is encouraging.
My plan now is to keep the day-to-day dishes done for the next couple of workdays so I can get some serious kitchen cleaning done this weekend.
When I look around the house and think of everything that needs to be done, I get overwhelmed and shut down. I think that this site will really help me to set and keep smaller goals until I start feeling better about the whole thing and can tackle more.

I am such a slob. I have many excuses including I’m a single mom and I work full time and I never really learned about cleaning from my single dad growing up. Those excuses need to go.
I have dishes in my kitchen that have been dirty for so long I don’t remember when I used them last. I am afraid of them at this point.
I need to learn to just do the things I don’t like to do but that everyone has to do. I have just let it get to the point that I feel overwhelmed.
My house could be worse. I haven’t reached the point of the people on “How Clean is Your House” but the clutter is getting bad.
Writing this is making me cry.
I’ll try again another time.