stick up for myself

This week, I’ve been stood up or cancelled on at the last minute 5 times by two friends. In the worst episode in this string of incidents, one of these people asked if she could stay at my house last night, then did not tell me when she was coming (I called her the night before and texted her the day of and only got wishy-washy answers) until I got a text at 10pm last night. Then she invited me, by text, to breakfast at her parent’s this morning at 7h30 am. I showed up only to stand in front of the door knocking for 10 minutes. She did not answer her phone.

I felt so small standing outside my friend’s house.

The worst part is that both of these people are struggling with some major issues. However, I decided in that moment that I deserve more from people who I count as friends. I walked home and wrote her a note that illustrated the pain I felt as a result of her actions and asked her not to contact me for a bit.

I was fired last week from my job, but because of the nature of my work I live in the same house as my boss and my first reaction was to run away directly from what would prove an embaressing situation. However, against these concerns I said I would stay on another week until my boss found someone else. Since I’m supposed to have the weekend off, I decided to go to London to stay with friends until I fly home Tuesday. I have always had trouble telling my various bosses difficult news. I start to sweat, my face turns red and I get a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. So last night my boss asked me when I was leaving because she needed me to work Saturday. And then it happened: I said no!

I know it’s a small thing, but I feel like it’s a step in the right direction.