stop yelling at my kids so much

I can’t say I’m an expert calm parent yet, but since adding this goal to my list I have focused on it more. I see improvement! That’s what this is all about, right?

The other day an inspired thought came to me. I decided to give up yelling at my kids as a sacrifice. That may sound weird, but it was an idea that really stuck with me, and it works for me. Now I look at it as though I have the option to yell, or to take another approach. I sacrifice yelling, and choose other options. And I was tested on this immediately. My kids were so destructive all week long. But I didn’t yell. I sacrificed it. I think I can do this! Maybe this idea will work for someone else, too!

I thought I was doing so well. But this week I find myself exasperated a lot, and my kids are driving me crazy, and my son just tells me “no” a lot. What’s going on? Oh, right, it’s PMS week for me. Okay, I’ve gotta slow it down, and try to stay calm. Now that I realize what the real problem is, I can focus on not letting myself get all worked up.

I have been working on this since my son was a newborn. Since the first moment I held him I’ve wanted only to love him completely. But when he was 3 weeks old I got frustrated at him, and I was horrified at expressing my anger at him. Since that day I have been working diligently to change this old pattern. He turns 4 next month, and I’m still working on it. Now he has a little sister, so it’s even harder! The yelling increased when I had two babies to handle. But I am very focused on handling my anger in more appropriate and effective ways, and I get better and better every day.
One thing I have noticed is that when I take good care of me and get time to myself, I don’t feel the need to yell. When I feel good, I handle frustrating situations like a champ.