Stop being depressed

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My grandfather doesnt make this easy….

Pills would be nice….
Things are getting worse, and i dont like it.

Pills wouold be nice…...

...I make people sad….

....I made Dan cry today. And by cry i dont mean sniffle sniffle. i mean, sobbing, tear streaked crying. I felt so bad. It was all my fault. He thinks the my “boo-boos” are all his fault. They arent. Im jsut selfish. And it was just the most heart-breaking thing. I feel SO bad about it. I dont want him to be sad, but it seems all I do these days is make him sad and cry. Its upsetting. I dont want him to be sad. Poor kid, he has enough of his own shit without mine on top of it…..

...I’m SO sorry Kitty Kat…..

I have been in Italy for the past two weeks and it has been living hell.
My grandfather can be so bad sometimes. He yells and screams and it scares me so bad. And i know that the reason he screams is because of me and i feel so guilty.
And I think that me and my boyfriend got into a fight yesturday online. I was feeling horrible about pretty much everything and i kept telling him that i was sorry. not that i had done anything, just i felt sorry that he had to deal with me and all of my emotional shit. and i think that he thinks that i did something. it was our 11 month anniversary too and so it was just soooo painful. so i just went abck to the hotel, sat in the bathroom and cried.
i cant do this….

ive been depressed for so long, and it doesnt take much for my to go from being in a happy mood to completely depressed. as much as i hate to say this i think some of it is contributed to my boyfriend of almost a year. we’ve been through a lot and yet he doesnt learn. never calls when he says, hangouts with other people when he says hed hangout with me, gets calls from “this girl”. all of these factors makes me exceedlingly depressed…...i dont know what to do…