I just copied and pasted this from my livejournal, but it really sums up how I feel. I need to stop living in day-dream and live in “reality”
I read this:
“I still walk down the street lost entirely inside myself. Any professionalism and so-called maturity on my part is just a ruse”
“the game I play is being exposed and the real world keeps knocking louder and louder.”
and it got me thinking:
I am the same, I live in “lala land” ALL the time, I am constantly in my own head and hardly ever in the “real” world.
And as much as I love the fact that I can simply “dfrit off” because it is the side that makes me who I am, funny, silly, unpredictable, weird, creative, different… I need to SNAP OUT OF IT and start living in reality. I really wish it wasn’t so hard, I really wish that I wasn’t stuck inside my head most of the time day dreaming about things that could possibly happen, things that didn’t happen but could have and things that are just plan WIERD leaving reality for what can sometimes be long periods of time.
The game I play has already been exposed, everyone who knows me knows that I drift off, my boss coined the phrase “electric Kahu-land” due to the constant not-there-glazed-over-look that I get it’s just that like my friend the real world keeps knocking, louder and louder and no matter how fun drifiting away can be, getting lost in day dreams and fantasies can be the best escapism from reality EVER, the fact of the matter is that daydreaming isn’t going to get me anywhere – well not the ones that I have anyways and if I keep getting lost in my head by the time I am 80 I am sure that I will be one of those “crazy old ladies” who is forever talking to herself, do I want that? Nooooo…..
