lighten up

There used to be a religion who believed, when you die, you have to cross a long, narrow, and flimsy bridge. If your body and soul was light, you could cross the bridge safely and enter the realm of eternal bliss. If your body or soul were heavy, you would fall from the bridge into a pit of darkness and despair.

Last night I realized just how much I need to lighten up. Specifically about sex. See, I talk a big talk. I’m a flirt, a tease, a lover… but I really take sex, kissing, and all that’s in between, very seriously. Almost too much. (?) Last night, one of my guy friends (that I’ve like for a while now) kissed me. And I froze. I mean yeah, I can tease him and stuff. I can let him know that I want to make out or whatever- but damn! I take it so seriously! I was litteraly shaking. And, yeah, I’ve never acted like that for a kiss before. But a lot has changed in the past year.

I feel like a little kid writing this stuff. I’m an adult. I should act like one. I don’t have to put out, but I wish that I could kiss someone I care about without panicing about it.

That’s why I need to lighten up.