talk to my dad more

I just got off of the phone with my father. He only confirmed what I had a gut feeling about all these years. He is, without a doubt, one of the most racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, arrant liars I’ve ever met.

I consider it a mark of pride that, thankfully, I’m nothing like him in thought or deed. At the end of the day, he’s the go between for myself and my family on that side.

At first, I thought it was just me. He talks a lot about reaching out and chastises me for not calling him but he never responds or reciprocates when I do reach out.

The blame for this lack in communication can’t be laid solely at my feet.

I will keep trying though. :(

I bought my father two cards a few days ago. One was for his birthday and the other for Father’s Day. Given that he won’t tell the exact date of his birthday, I just took a shot in the dark and sent it.

I was shocked to find that, on sending it out Friday, he got it Saturday. I wish my mail would come like that…LOL

Anyway, he really loved both and we had a civil conversation that didn’t involve overbearing proselytization for a change. It was nice.

On top of that, I cried myself to sleep over yesterday mornings episode of Doctor Who called Father’s Day. It’s ironic what happened and it really highlighted the…damn, spoilers.

Let’s just say that the lengths a good parent will go through to protect their children are endless and someone has more than two. There. For those who’ve seen it, it should make sense while not spoiling it for those who haven’t.

It’s kind of ironic too. DW was in a way my surrogate paternal figure as a child. But for that show, I really am not sure how I would have ended up and no, I’m not over dramatizing with that statement.

Well, more a printout of a picture of me at age 4 that most probably got burned in the fire that killed his brother and burned his home down. I scribbled some stuff on the back of it and it’s pretty much a wait and see approach to find out if he’ll respond.

It was a difficult conversation and, because the entry I was writing intially was going into its eighth paragraph, I’m probably going to write more about it on my blog to save people the horror of having to read it here.

I did do it though. Baby steps.