finish college

Bill after bill keeps popping up and taking away from what should be my college savings. I wish I could say that it was reckless spending but it’s not. It has literally been for shelter costs. I’ve actually been skimping back on food where I could to make ends meet with the other things.

Medical, clinical, and research studies help but, even with those, I can’t take all that come down the line without making myself ineligible for other studies that also pay a large sum of money.

I’m seriously considering transferring my credits out and going to a school here called Medix. They give training in fields like Cosmetology, Massage Therapy, etc. Oh great…Just what I need, a social job given how completely socially phobic I am.

Yet, I can’t exactly turn the opportunity down. I need to eat. I need extra money to pay bills, and a steady income that will do more than just help me get by. I have medical conditions that require more than a minimum wage job to maintain the cost of and I really do not want to fall back into the abyss of having no treatment again after all these years of relative stability.

Called the old school today at the recommendation of an advisor at the new school regarding transferring my earned credits to hopefully make up a deficit and allow me to go back to the new cool school that I love with all my heart and with whom I’d like to make babies.

Now to round up the money…step by step, I’m getting back on track.

And I smell like Freesia. Oh yeah. I’m determined.

I’d actually taken this off of my list but, on opening my List of Bests, I saw that the goal was still on there. When I tried to delete it, something inside me said “No, don’t give up.” and I re-added it to my list.

It was quite interesting to discover that all of my previous entries for this goal were still in the system waiting to be re-associated. A part of me wanted to delete them but then I thought to myself that it might be better to keep them there as a reminder that I didn’t give up when I could have.

So, to dig myself out of the pit and start from scratch. Even if I get knocked down, I’ll get up again and keep going at it until I succeed. Heck, I got this place, a blog, and a journal to whine it out on when I get stressed at least. :p

...and the rest of the semester to go. I am finally through the first week of school and so far, so good. I missed one class on one day but I’m confident in my abilities to make it up and I’m actively studying hard in all the classes so as to acheive outstanding grades.

I finally am registered and fully set (I hope!). I went into school today for what I thought would be a routine followup appointment concerning my academic status and thankfully asked the right questions of the advisor.

So, as a result of this, I’m going for nine hours, which translates to six credit hours and a remedial class. With the two credit classes, I’ll be making up the attempt from last year in the hopes of changing those grades in my records. I will succeed this time. I have all my books, supplies, etc. and have to take one and one book only back having returned an accidental duplicate purchase today.

August 28th can’t come fast enough for me. I want to be started already.

I am going back. I am going to try again and this time with new meds and a more positive outlook. I’m going to see if the same classes are available and if they are, whether or not the books are still the same to save money.

This is doable and I am stubborn. >:)

I went to the doc and am getting labs done, probably on Tuesday, depending on my schedule.

I talked with one professor and finishing out this semester without withdrawing looks more realistic now.

My hands are still weird, so here.

At least now I know that the sickness I thought was either a summer cold or me somehow psychologically avoiding school is not. I am not giving up. I refuse to. I like this new school too much to just roll over and die about this. I’m just glad I figured this out now and not in late October. I’ve still got time.

Being the thickest person on the planet, it never occured to me that the illness I was going through was possibly my reaction to an increase in Lithium in my blood. I cannot type much here but suffice it to say, this sucks majorly.

This is affecting my school, my life, my writing, my everything. I just hope my hands stop shaking. Its near impossible to type, let alone write, like this. I have a school journal, Manic Mithridatism

Has anyone else had this problem? Should I be in hospital right now or is this something I can get through without going in? If you know, just Send me a message to Yahoo, ICQ, AIM, or by e-mail

I went to school the first day feeling not too good. The next thing I know, its a week and a half later and I’ve only been to one class out of four. In talking with a friend of mine, I am motivated to now go back but I feel so sick from these meds, I don’t know how to balance taking them with attending school.

Both things are important on the impact of my life but only one keeps me from becoming a deathtime membership in the Great beyond.