and then, two days later, said he thought we should go back to “just friends.”
Basically, I think he was hoping to get laid and when he saw that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, figured kissing wasn’t worth his time & effort. It doesn’t make me feel very good about our friendship, or about my attractiveness. Like, if I were prettier or had a better personality, he wouldn’t just be looking for a “pump & dump” with me.
Rationally, I know this is more of a reflection on his character than on my appeal, but I can’t help but feel that it says something negative about me.
I’m having fun with this. Eg. I’ve bought about 5 new lipsticks in the past month. Yeah, I know. It’s sorta adding to my clutter, but it also is helping me have fun with makeup again.
I realise that somewhere along the way, I lost the fact that clothes and shoes and makeup can be fun and not an oppressive, expensive, depressing pressure. I never want to be one of those women who spends lots of time and money and thought on her outward appearance but I do want to regain my sense of joy with these things… as well as with many other things.
I’ll keep you posted. I’m a work in progress.
Not pretty. But prettier than I did.
I lost a few pounds and that’s allowed me to feel a bit prettier. And I’m spending lots of time in the gym; I notice my legs becoming more defined and my arms developing lovely little muscles.
Things ended with the boyfriend. He didn’t make me feel pretty but that certainly didn’t cause our demise. He just wasn’t that nice a person and while I don’t care about being with a beautiful man, I want to be with a man who is beautiful on the inside : )
I’m now dating a guy. He’s nice, I guess. But he sure doesn’t make me feel gorgeous.
Am realizing that it’s nice to get affirmation from others, but that I can only rely on feel good about myself if I boost my own morale.
Do I feel pretty? Not really. But I try to notice nice things about myself: my soft skin, my expressive eyes, my sweet freckles… I try to avoid comparing myself with other women but rather just see my own lovely characteristics. It’s not easy to do, but I’m taking baby steps.
So, I’m starting to feel slightly pretty again. Well, not all the time, or even most of the time, but on occasion, which is a definite improvement.
I’ve been working out at the gym. A lot. Which hasn’t meant that I’ve lost a tonne of weight but I am a bit firmer and – even better – I feel stronger (not just physically but emotionally). These changes have helped me feel more attractive.
And… I kissed a guy. Well, made out with him is more like it. blush Not sure if it’s going to go anywhere with him but getting a wee bit of action certainly helped made me feel less grotesque.
I had a long-term relationship that ended over the summer. The last 3 years of this relationship, he really wasn’t physically attracted to me. We’d have sex about once/ month and even then, he really didn’t seem very “into me.” He complained a lot, too, about our life – the city where we lived, the friends I had, the restaurants we went to…
Being with someone like that took its toll on how I feel about myself and my life. It’s tough to know that someone loves you but doesn’t “want” you, and is disappointed in the life you share together. Even now that he’s out of my life, his attitude greatly impacts my thoughts.
When I used to be slim, I’d get a lot of attention and second looks. I had a choice of all sorts of clothes, and dressed fairly stylishly whereas now I feel like I have to buy the (few) items I find that fit my large body and camouflage the bits I don’t like. Besides, even when I do dress up and try to look stylish, I just feel like The Fat Chick who’s Trying to Look Nice… But Just looks Fat.
So, losing weight will help with this goal. Once I lose some weight, I can then start working on dressing better. sigh We’ll see. I just feel ugly and unsexy now.