get in touch with my authentic self

express a huge challege. So many people go through life trying to be what they think will please other people or what they think will impress other people or what they think their parents wanted them to be…I could go on and on. However, if you take the time to stop and be still and ponder what it is YOU want you to be or what is most authentic and natural for you, that is when you begin to discover your authentic self. I am still trying to dig mine out. It has been so deeply buried beneath years of trying to emulate Martha Stewart or some other icon, that it is real work trying to uncover the real me. I have to ask myself daily if I am making a choice based on me and what I really want or if I’m doing it because it will make me to appear to be more like X.

I have been going through a girly, foofee stage over the past several months. That kind of sounds stupid, you know, that I’m thirty-eight years old and I’m still going through phases. What the hell is up with that? I like the idea of being all girly and dressing all foofee all the time, but I know that it’s really not me. I’m a sweat pants girl at heart, I know that, but after watching so much What Not to Wear and Sex and the City, I feel like shit for dressing bad. I mean, because I know what to wear to look nice, but I just hate to dress like that. I was better off before I knew I dressed badly. Ahhh, ignorance is such bliss.
I feel like I am always trying to decide what I want my image to be. A couple years ago I decided again to try to act and dress like a hippy. Why do I always feel like I must choose a persona. What is wrong with me? I don’t think other people do this shit.

43 things has been so good for me. I always tell people about it. It has helped me create a focus for my life. It has helped me to put on “paper” things I need to do to make me a better person and my life more productive. It has helped me so much in my journey to self-discovery. I have been trying so hard to figure out who I am and what it is I want out of my time on this earth. I know it sounds dramatic or hokey, but this website has really given me a means of focus. If you will visit the site regularly and review your goals you are much more likely to make progress, in my opinion.

I want to spend 2007 discovering who is is I really am. I want to discover my authentic self. I want to find out what makes me truly happy. I want to know what makes my heart sing. I want to find out what I want out of life. I want to stop being what I think the world expects me to be and be exactly who I want to be instead.