Lose 70 pounds

I’ve been working out an hour a day and I have been well within my calorie range. Also been drinking between 6-8 glasses of water a day. After a week and a half..ta-da! I GAINED two pounds.

I was seriously bummed. I considered going to the doctor to get checked for a freakish metabolism. Now I find out that it’s very common. I’m probably gaining a little muscle and retaining all that extra water. But STILL! Hard work and -72 pounds away from my 70 pound goal. Yeeesh.

I hope the better part that is suposed to come after the worse part comes soon.

Right now, my goal for this week was to simply keep track of what I eat, so I can be more aware of how much food I eat. Every time I make a note in the food journal, I get insanely hungry. It goes away after about an hour or so, but just looking at how much I eat makes me feel hungry. While I’m not trying to hard to limit my calories, now that I’m writing them down I feel very self conscious. Even though nobody sees how much I eat, I feel embarrassed looking at it.

I grew up a scrawny little skinny kid. I remember being in my early 20s and getting the size 0 pants and they were loose! I also remember eating vast amounts of food. My best friend in college and I would EACH order a 10 inch pepperoni pizza and eat the whole thing.

I wished that I were heavier. I wanted boobs, hips and a butt. But no matter how much I ate, I couldn’t pass 100 pounds. Now I think my butt weighs more than 100 pounds! I don’t think I could fit my old jeans around my wrist!

I do NOT want to go back to my scrawny early 20s days. I enjoy the curves and except for my huge round moon face, I think I look fairly decent heavy. Being scrawny is over-rated.

But it’s not healthy to be fat. I have no stamina and my knees and feet hurt carrying so much extra weight around. I’m really small boned and short—so even when I was 40 pounds lighter my doctor was not pleased. I hit the obese mark this November. I want to be in my healthy BMI range.