I do this without thinking..
1 year ago
Nobody around me knows it, but everyone near me is in some sort of mini competition with me. I unconsciously “rank” myself with the people I know. Today, I was watching my co-worker and keeping track of how many books we shelved and how many people we spoke to.
I’m always afraid of being seen as a slacker or the weakest link at work. So without thinking, I watch everyone and make sure that I am keeping up. I know its a self esteem thing. But I am irrationally paranoid that everyone else is taking score and I don’t measure up.
I know it’s silly. And now that I’m more aware of it, I hope to lessen and then finally ditch the mini competition I have with the world.
