be ok alone

i’ve had a pretty interesting week with this goal…
i had an NLP session last sunday and i mentioned that i hated being alone and that i worry that something bad will happen to me, etc etc so we did some tapping and stuff on it.

my parents have been away all week so i have been home alone, something which i really hate, i would normally do anything to get out of the house or make sure that someone was there with me even to the point where my friends have to stay over in the spare room, my anxienty gets pretty bad and i just freak out and i can’t sleep!

THIS WEEK THO!!!! i had a friend stay down on friday and saturday for the weekend but for the rest of the week i have been totally home alone, i have cooked for one, slept in my empty house and even spent a whole evening on my own! i didn’t see a soul from 5 pm when i left work until 8.30 the next day when i got to work!!! this is a totally massive step for me! it’s soemthing that i have NEVER done, it’s probably the longest period of time i have ever spent on my own and i am so proud of myself for not freaking out.

i hope that soon i will be totally fine and that uni isn’t going to be so much of a nightmare for me. maybe i will even learn to enjoy my own company!!!! :-)

i hate it, i can’t even remember more than one instance of spending a full day on my own!

the last time i had to was when a friend and i went on holiday, she wanted to go off and meet someone that she used to live with, so she left me and said she would be back late. i didn’t know what to do with myself!!

i find it really difficult to enjoy my own company and to just get on and do stuff when i’m alone- i almost spent the day in our hotel room :-S

as it happened, i had quite a nice day and make some new friends in an irish pub (they get everywhere haha), but i still don’t look forward to spending time awith me

i think it’s pretty bad really, i’m single now, adn just getting used to it again- it’s been so long that i miss not having someone there all the time, my friends must be sick of me calling round for cups of tea :-)

i worry about it alot though, i am going to uni in september and i am not going to know anyone and i will be a long way from home! it’s pretty daunting for me.. i know i will make friends alright but until i do that i will be on me lonely ownsome!!!! EEK!!