how often it seems that a day, a week, month, year, just passes by with no notice really. my passion for life, it has left me and i don’t know why. or do I? teaching is sapping my creativity, my delight in art. I never meant to stay a teacher, it was just a way to make money till my art career took off. yet here I am, fighting to keep this job. far too afraid (and trapped) to give it up. marriage. someone else depending on me. god it has its perks, but so many comprises. some of them a bit soul destroying. I need to think of ways to wake up my spirit, my soul. I don’t want to be dead inside.